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abandonxhope 18-21, F

EXPERIENCES
133

I Got Kissed By Criss Angel At His Show

His 1000th Show Posted 12/14/2010
My parents shocked me with a trip to Vegas. They were going to surprise me with Criss Angel tickets but that was the first thing out of my mouth then I heard Vegas. I decided to pay for the best seats... [more]
Featured Story
Experiences
  • Was Molested By My Cousin

    I Was Molested By My Cousin

  • Want to Become a Surgical Tech

    I Want to Become a Surgical Tech

  • Sometimes Don't Feel Like Talking

    I Sometimes Don't Feel Like Talking

  • Feel Completely Unloved

    I Feel Completely Unloved

  • Weight 90lbs

    I Weight 90lbs

  • Am a Team Jacob Supporter

    I Am a Team Jacob Supporter

  • Think Men Should Get A Monthly Visit From Aunt Flow

    I Think Men Should Get A Monthly Visit From Aunt Flow

  • Got Kissed By Criss Angel At His Show

    I Got Kissed By Criss Angel At His Show

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Stories

  • I Was Molested By My Cousin

    The After Math Posted 8/31/2010
    I was molested by two of my cousins. Once when I was 8, and again when I was 14. This was the hardest thing for me to over come. When I was 8, I was tricked into it. My cousin, we'll call him '1', wan… [more]

    Comments 1 Views 2080

  • I Involved With a Man Way Too Young For Me

    16 And 20 Posted 9/20/2010
    I am in a awkward situation. This boy, Jake, has liked me for 5 years now. I am just serisously fall for him and he is way to young. He turns 16 next month, and I turn 20 in December. I'm going to be … [more]

    Comments 26 Views 909

  • I Gave Up World of Warcraft

    Lost My Guild Posted 9/1/2010
    The main reason I quit is because I lost my guild. We had a very very young boy in the guild, and he got kicked. The adult members were saying mean things about them, so I instantly defended him. I to… [more]

    Comments 3 Views 498

  • I Hated My First Kiss

    He Didn't Even Like Me! Posted 9/5/2010
    I was 15 when I got my first kiss. I had liked the guy for a few months. He was 21, and didn't like me at all. I was happy at first because I thought that it meant that he changed and he did like me, … [more]

    Comments 0 Views 434

Confessions

  • Venting Confessions

    I want to do drugs!
    I use to do K2 and smoke hookah but for religious reasons I'm being forced to stop but it's so hard! I want it soo badly. I can't even drink to get drunk because that's a sin. It's so hard. I can't handle my life right now, I want to get high to make it all go away. I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. I dont know how people cope. I want to smoke something do something to get my high.… [more]

    Comments 3

  • Health Confessions

    I cut myself.
    I started cutting myself when I was 15. It's been on and off, but I started again. I've talked to many people who cut and it seems my issuses are different. I like the control I get. I like the fact that no one else can take credit for doing it to me. I feel like every time someone hurts me, I'm giving them something. They can say they defeated me, but I'm the only one that makes me bleed. I use a sock to hold my razor, and every time I cut, I use that same sock to wipe the blood away. I never wash it. I use it as a sort of trophie of how much I've done. I have a sick obsession with blood. I don't like the pain I get from cutting, but I like that I bleed.… [more]

    Comments 1

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Questions and Answers
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Blogs

  • "There is nothing I do better than revenge"

    Posted on: January 15th, 2011 at 6:38PM

    So Jake got pissed at me for posting about other guys and decided to blackmail me with the fact that I smoked Thursday. He threatened to tell the elders giving me 'one week to come clean' even though it's not a serious sin. So I called the elders, they told me not to even worry. So this is what I did. I threw it in his face that he sinned with me, and he knows about Josh sinning with his girlfriend. I said, while you're at it, maybe you should give them a week too. Now I'm done with Jake, I might just punch him in the face next time I see him. He was such a **** to me today. As if being Bipolar, OCD and having a personality disorder wasn't enough instead of helping me through, he decided t… [more]

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  • Unsure

    Posted on: November 24th, 2010 at 10:59PM

    Okay so today has been an odd day. I decided Jake was right, and we ended our relationship. He needs time to grow into the man he's going to be and I don't want to hinder him in any way. I know that he was building his life around me and that's not right. He's too young to be doing that. I thought we could get around it if I pushed him to make his own choices but it wasn't working that way. I started thinking about my first relationship; Matt. I was 16 and he was 22. I did everything he wanted because I thought I was in love. I would do anything and everything for him. After a year and a half of it, I started to realize the person I was with him wasn't the real me. I created a life that he … [more]

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  • Too much Too fast

    Posted on: December 30th, 2010 at 4:05AM

    I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I have been going through a lot lately. I've been diagnosed bipolar and with Fibromyalgia. My bipolar is getting worse. I started talking in my sleep, and I'm not getting good sleep because of it. My mom was watching me sleep today and she said I was twitching and mumbling and some of the things were clear as day and I was unhappy. I don't really know what to do anymore. My mom found out I was cutting and she called one of the Elders in my congregation, and we had a meeting which started rocky. I had attitude. Eventually they broke through to me, but I have I have no idea what I want. I feel like I was fine then overnight I became bipolar. Like all t… [more]

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  • Always Here

    Posted on: September 28th, 2010 at 7:17PM

    I have been trying to figure out what's wrong with me lately. All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep. I'm not even tired but I just want to lay in bed and do nothing. I was supposed to go to my meeting tonight but I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay in bed. It just so happened where dinner didn't agree with my tummy so I had an excuse not to go. I've been rolling around in bed for 3 hours just thinking and texting a little. I just want to know what's wrong with me. I feel so depressed. I feel like I look horrible. I feel like I'm fat, I'm ugly, and I have no reason for getting up. I feel like nothing matters, like my life sucks no matter what I do. I have to drag myself out of bed to e… [more]

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