almostnotquitenormal 18-21, F

I'm the kind of person that is always sure on the outside, if not so much on the inside. I always act like i know what im doing even if i have no idea, and i hate the idea of someone knowing that i have no idea where im going in life, what im doing, or even who i am. I once heard from my dad, that if you dont believein something, you'll believe in everything. I laughed at that...at first. Until i realized just how right he was. I couldnt believe in anyone or anything., so i found myself believeing in every even slightly logical idea that came my way, and even some that make no sense but just felt right. I still dont know who i am, and i feel like i wont know any of these things about myslf … [more]

Oh dear, where to start? One is a boy(man?) who ihave known since we were both toddlers. And while i know he is a bit older than me, i cant help but love him as much as he loves me. he is my safety, he is my comforrt, and he needs me. I fear that may be the reason i have fallen so hard for him is that he needs me. The second is a man (boy?) who i have not known for nearly so long, but i feel like i have known my whole life. He knows more about me than anyone on this planet and he accepts everything i have told him. He sat up with me into ungodly hours of the night/morning when i had no one else to go to, to talk to. I love them both and i know this will not be an easy issue to resolve,becaus… [more]