Alyss22 18-21, F

I used to be really depressed. Like, REALLY depressed. I went to therapy, I attempted suicide a couple of times, I had an obsession with weight loss (though I never became anorexic) and I was just overall really bad at life. I just finished reading one of my confessions from two years ago and I can't help but smile.And not because it was a good confession. I'm actually really embarrassed by my lack of control over my life and the way I was handling it. But now I'm better. I'm notdepressed. I'm getting discharged from therapy. I'm not obsessed with weight loss anymore. I mean, this year was a pretty bullshit year for me- my friends ignored me after I broke up with my boyfriend, my mom called … [more]

I can't believe that you would ever like me- at one point I did, but then you rejected me. I can get that you were dealing with your parents separation and all but flirting with me after rejecting me really hurts. Especially after all my friends and family ignored me, you were the one person I felt could easily make my day. Then you rejected me, and I shut down. Then you started to flirt with me and started to wind me up again- why? So no, I won't ever think you could ever like me again. Not even when you cuddle with me, or hold my hand or kiss me softly. Not when you compliment me everyday or invite me over for dinner. Not even when you light up when you see me. As much as you cherish me, I… [more]

The fact that when I choose to kill myself, I will disappear and run off to a completely unknown place. I don't know how I'd kill myself but I definitely don't want to be found at home, swinging from a noose or in the bathroom too long with bloodstained tiles. I definitely don't want to be found convulsing in bed from one too many pills or placed at an odd angle with my head in the oven.I'd leave a note, though. Saying that I'm going to kill myself and that they shouldn't try to find me. I can imagine my family running themselves out, trying to find me regardless and calling every one of my friends to help in the search. I think I'm being considerate by not allowing them to find my dead body… [more]

I used to. I used to be so unbearably suicidal that I would sit down and think of all the ways to kill myself for days on end. But now I don't. Between dying and living- it's all the same to me. I couldn't care less either way. The way I see it, we're all going to die anyway. Why try to delay the inevitable? Why try to speed it up? Let life run its course and eventually it'll end. Now, I get that people want to be remembered or whatever. But seriously? There will come a time when the human race will go extinct and there will be no one left to remember Cleopatra or Martin Luther King Jr. much less what the hell Ruth Tirado (me) did when she was on Earth for what little time she had.Everything… [more]