Yep, as the title states.....I'm a walking contradiction. I'm mean, yet nice. I'm honest, yet deceitful. I'm scared, yet take charge. I'm social, yet a loner. The list can go on....but that's who I am. Almost everything on the surface is the opposite skin deep.
Fear Of Becoming My FatherOne of my worst fears has been materializing. My son's personality and behavior has begun to mirror my childhood and I just don't know why. Let me start by explaining my childhood. Like many people claim, I had an abusive childhood. I hate to say it, cause so many people do. But unfortunately, it is what it was. An absolute nightmare. My father would wrap my feet up by the ankles with his belt and pull me up a flight of stairs. Many times, he would throw me across the room, only to smash into a wall head first. Kick me when I'm down, literally, etc.... The list can go on, but I'm not here to seek pity. I only want you, the reader to understand that I don't throw the word "abuse" around … [more]