BloodRedShadow

I've always identified as female. Always. I wouldn't play with the boys when I was a kid, no, I was always with the others girls. People thought I was a little odd, but that's them. I am who I am. But there is this constant fear of people knowing and of secrets being told, especially when you pile secret upon secret. The only I fear though, is my secret. I'm trans. Mtf. My secret is the pain it causes me, the hell I've endured, and the people I've known who accept this part of me. One of them actually told me once, she could never see me as a guy, only a woman. This touched me to the core of my being. Another one I'm absolutely flattered by is here on EP. We've been pals, yeah, good pals. We… [more]

I've already told my family. Mother never saw me as anything short of her daughter since that day. My fiancée knows, and she treats me as her equal. My younger sibling knows, and only calls me "big sister" unless we're somewhere public, which she calls me "big brother" or by my name. It wouldn't bother me so much that my friends don't know, but the thing is, they're all guys. Normal high school guys, unlike me. My self image is screwed, I hate my physical appearance. But they would never understand that. But the thing is, I can't keep on pretending to be someone I know I'm not. I have to be true to myself. But I am so scared to lose those friends. We were going to try and keep in touch as fr… [more]

Dearest Maia, I know I shouldn't start a letter all mushy and stuff, but we've been through so much together. We"be seen all the wonder we can be for one another, and what terrors can befall us in this sort of relationship. But I wan you to know every minute of it was worth it. You have proven to me that I can be a woman, no matter what. I can be the gal who is worth her salt. But I know I've helped you too. My issues are insignificant compared to yours. I can't imagine what pain you must have been through. I can't even begin to fathom the hate you have for all of those people who wronged you, stabbed you in the back, and used you only to throw you away. Bit those days are over dragi, the… [more]

I could never live without her. She is my perfect other half, the compliment to my personality. Entirelly opposite to me, yet perfect for me at the same time. I proposed to her, and she said yes. I've never seen her so excited. I'm lucky to have her. She considers me a lady, and only calls me Amber, no Alexander or Alex or Al or any of that. I love her so much, but will she still see me the same when I am who I was meant to be? Certainly so, I hope.… [more]