bv1986 26-30, M

how can i look foward to the future when im so haunted by  the past all i have is the present and i dont know how long it will last no one cares even if it seems they do when it comes down to it at the end of the day all you have is you i feel were all alone in one way or another but being alone only makes it tougher having barely any friends isnt an easy thing to deal with i dont care anyway though most people are bullsh it i can look in someones eyes and tell if theyre fake you give to people and all they do is take i dont know if theres a god or  not i dont see any proof people make me sick with all this religion s hit they cant face the truth that maybe there isnt a god or a jesus or a h… [more]

i think life is ultra silly and extremely unfair i think most of the people that mean alot to you in life abandon you in some way and the people you could care a less if they stick around are always around one should no be this depressed and sad at only 26 but i am i feel like sometimes ive lived too much life and i should simply end it but im not going to  things often dont get better they get worse and relationships with girls that meant alot to me are over people say get over it move on move on?these people meant alot to me!i dont know how people who have worries and problems go about their day with a smile on their face like everythings great ive never seen so many fake people and so man… [more]

should i be sorry for being socially anxious and quiet and not talking alot why does it have to be im a f ucking alien or from another planet just cause im a quiet guy whats the big friggin deal i feel like i look foward to new video games and music and movies coming out then i do future social interactions with other human beings i prefer children(in a friendly way) and animals and least they cant judge me all the time i love my nephew but jesus most of the time i feel like im not blowing my brains out from suffering cause of him so he doesent grow up without an uncle whats so great about talking anyway?most of the time its the same crap how was your day today oh  how have you been what did… [more]

i was such a happy child so full of life and joy but in the fall of 2002 i started feeling quiet and shy and not my normal self which was a social butterfly the relationships that meant the world to me with females i met back in 2007 these girls now want absolutely nothing to do with me which hurts like hell sometimes i feel like that song longview i have no motivation where is my motivation i hate everyone around me except my nephew everyones so friggin happy and if theyre not happy theyre fake and pretend theyre happy  i have a job coach guy and im trying to get a job but i dont even know if that will change anything  ive felt like this for so long idk even know if i wanna feel otherwise l… [more]