CharleeLuv 18-21, F

I'm super freaking happy right now! I got a call from a place that I applied to, except they called my mothers house. And I'm living with my sisters now. I'd filled out the application while I was still living with my mother, and I didn't have my phone at the time. So, tomorrow I have to call them back and hope that they still want a job interview. I'm hoping like hell that they do, and that I get the job. I need some kind of uplifting in my life right now. I didn't think that I would ever get a job. My mother said another place called, but she can't remember where. So, I gotta check her caller ID and see. My brother works there, so that's awesome. My sister applied, and they interviewed he… [more]

It's tiresome and too much energy wasted. I'm not a hateful person. I forgive or ignore people or I just don't care. And these days, there's nothing but people trying to cause so much drama. I'm just tired of dealing with it. It's hard to stay sane with so many people trying to knock you down.… [more]

So, I've been hating my appearance a lot lately.. I try to dress better now. Before I couldn't give two ***** about my out appearance, now it's all I could think about I need change in my life. Now!! I do everything for everyone else but I don't do anything ever for myself. I mean literally, I put everyone else's needs before mine..I have to. And now, I can't take it. I'm 18 years old. I never go out. NEVER!! And I'm always at home. I can't even go to my sister's place when I want.. I'm so tired of being too available. My sister and I were talking and I forget why but I say I want to dye my hair blue. We were joking...at first. Then I think about it, and I like the idea. I want to dye my… [more]

Recently, I turned 18. What. I'm a legal adult now. Though, it doesn't seem like it. Maybe it's because I look like a kid still. I keep forgetting my age. My mother still thinks she has control over me. Mostly my fault I suppose. My father understands and rubs it in my face all the time, "You're a grown woman". Siblings get it. Still a bit uncomfortable about it with the older ones. They're in their mid twenties. I didn't understand why I let my mother control me. I do now. And it's rather stupid. Extremely stupid. But each day, she gets to me less. She is so annoying now. Her and her crap..it's tiresome. I'm here for my daddy and the kids. That's my only reason. I'm deciding on go… [more]