elderwitch47 46-50, F
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I Have Multiple Personality Disorder
I Am AmazedWhenever i think of what soul shattering abuse it took to totally spilt a personality I am amazed by the sweet loving alters I have met in this group... even though we have survived hell and back we a… [more] -
I Have A Spouse That Has Dissociative Identity Disorder
My Husbands Alter Doesn't Want A Wifehello new here and didn't know where else to turn...my hubby and I have been together for over 12yrs...and have worked hard to build our lives together in that time...he has accepted my two girls from… [more] -
Nightmares Haunt My SleepJust last night or maybe I should say early this morning I kicked my foot into the wall while in middle of yet another dream terror of the past... seems I was kicking some fat bad smelling client off … [more]
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I deleted my storiesI just spent most of the morning deleting some my stories from EP. It took a lot for me to post them. I guess I was using the site kinda like a surrogate therapy get them out of my head so the night mares wouldn't be so bad. It is just I forgot that not only can my friends those I know see what I wrote but strangers can too. I have already been bashed and bullied in comments and most recently in messages by in mail so I have chosen to be selective in postings from now on and not give to many specifics just the general idea... so for all of you who have commented respectfully I thank you and for all of you who didn't lesson learned.… [more]
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Try to understandLast Saturday I was found unconscious and unrsponsive by my husband on the floor of the bathroom and he called 911. Emt's came tried to revive me didn't help had shallow breathing in ambulance and they bagged me..tried to put in breathing tube but bit EMt..Poor kid... at hospital did all kinds of tests and did put in breathing tube... I woke up on Sun..in Neuro ICU with tube down my throat and nurse telling me to breathe...while rubbing my chest... got tube out sounded like "Barry White" which wouldn't so bad but I am 5'2" and a woman... moved to Trauma ICU cause no bed in regualr room...then docs ran more test...alll the while even though paralyzied on right side kept telling them what it w… [more]
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I feel safest when....I am in a closet surrounded by walls on on sides so no one can startle me..with soft blankets to snuggle in the lap of an overstuffed teddy or doggie so that only love can touch me... I would spend so many nights like this knowing that they would protect me in my dreams... I still want that security and space even though now I am bigger and getting into a closet is something of a major problem.… [more]
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finding a way
been searching to find my way again.... been lost for awhile now and not sure weather i should try to climb yet another mountain or just run down into the chasm and see where i land....so many changes ....can't hardly keep up....but finally found a steady foothold and am transgressing the terrain alone and feeling stronger each day. Sure the storms still wash over me but afterwards i feel cleaner, freer and more clear. I am gonna like desending the mountain instead of hiking up to the peak....the path will be slower and the scenery just as breathtaking if not more cause now it can be enjoyed.The above is just a random thought i had during a meditation....i usually walk up in them but in th… [more]
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