Female , 22-25

Last Seen Feb 23, 2012
Member Since May 26, 2011
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Local Time May 6th, 8:51 AM

I Am Struggling With The Urge Of Wanting To Hurt Myself

Humiliated. Afraid Of Doing Really Stupid Right Now. I was discovered, and everybody already had noticed it. And still, I had to bear ******* indirect and malicious comments, as if I was a ******* hooker. They know it: I have a crush on that ******... [more]
fadedawaylife has shared 2 Mature Experiences
  • I Am Socially Awkward

    Finally He Spoke To Me...and I Failed. Today, after 6 months, finally my crush has spoken to me. Initially I was doing the right steps, I wasn't even anxious (or pretended I didn't notice it), but at the final decisive answer which could e… [more]
  • I Am Socially Awkward

    The Avoidant Me. I worry too much about what people may think about me. And in the office is worst, manage to be in the same room with +/- 20 people talking, and talking. I have a paranoia stigma, and… [more]
  • I Have Social Phobia

    The Avoidant Me. I worry too much about what people may think about me. And in the office is worst, manage to be in the same room with +/- 20 people talking, and talking. I have a paranoia stigma, and… [more]
  • I Want a Boyfriend

    A Premature End To A Possible Beginning. I'm in early 20's and never had really a bf in my life. I'm having a big crush on someone from the work. It's been about 3 weeks since I started to work, and it is my first job of my life. I'm r… [more]
  • Love Confessions

    A confession about something that didn't happened...yet.
    (Somehow EP keep insisting in categorize this text in the wrong category...but actually it falls into venting/love category.)     [post edit: I'm trying to post again this confession within the right category...if EP, somehow, allows me do it.]   Feeling like the dumbest person of the world, and I owe specially to my f***ng anxiety shifts. To spare further explanations, read the topic  "Finally he spoke to me...and I failed", which can be found in "stories" of my profile. So, this is something that I'm about to do...but uncertainty and lack of self-confidence hit me hard to put this in action. I'm thinking on write a short message to him to apologize myself. I know it is because somethi… [more]
  • (late) New Years' Resolutions (I mean, some stupid personal mumble)

    Posted on: January 22nd, 2012 at 7:17PM

    Ok, this is late, but somehow I know I need to direct myself on something....I mean, I need to fix this chaos which is my life (considering that there is many kinds of chaos).  I have to stop wimping around about everything. If I keep this way I remain in the same state of nowhere to be, nowhere to go. I graduate this year and have to decide what to do next, where to go etc., but the most important thing, and always had been is: living the life. I mean, I want to live the way I always wanted, and I need to try to be more social (it is my resolution of every year, and improved a little), I mean, I need to develop my skills, you know what I mean? Clumsiness and awkwardness (in front of people)… [more]


  • Never had no one ever

    Posted on: January 16th, 2012 at 7:41PM

    "When you walk without ease On these streets where you were raised I had a really bad dream It lasted 20 years, 7 months, and 27 days (I'm alone and I never) Never had no one ever Now I'm outside your house I'm alone And I'm outside your house I'd hate to intrude I'm alone, I'm alone I'm alone, I'm alone I'm alone, I'm alone And I never, never, had no one ever I never had no one ever I never had no No one ever Had no one ever Never, never..."   (The Smiths) I'm 23. I never had a boyfriend. I never kissed. Never had sex. I don't know what the **** is to love and be loved by someone else. I even don't know how it is to be (passionately) liked by anyone. Actually I even think that the concept o… [more]


  • Back to...real life.

    Posted on: February 12th, 2012 at 6:48PM

    Tinnitus. Dizziness. Unstable blood pressure and a stomach a little bit ****** up. 18 aspirins won't put an end on everything (unless you want to go through by one of the most unpleasant experiences). Discharged today. Now I'm officially diagnosed as having depression and social phobia. yey.… [more]


  • WTF was that????

    Posted on: January 22nd, 2012 at 6:33PM

    I did a profile to meet people of another countries etc. I think I didn't wrote anything very much exposed and put a photo of mine. Then someone send me messages, if I had msn etc., and ok, I gave it. He didn't put any picture of him, but it has something written about this person, and even his supposed real name, so I thought ok. I accepted the person, but it was written "John Smith", and I started to suspect and regretted after giving my msn, which is the same of another personal email of mine (at least it hasn't my full name). Today, I decided to go online, and just now that person logged in. Hi, how are you, etc., and them he started to shoot me with answers without developing them in a … [more]