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Female , 26-30

I have a lot of quirks and weird things to say. I mumble these day by day to erase the pain of past days.

Last Seen Jul 1
Member Since Oct 12, 2011
Favorite Quote
Heritage
  • a little Native American (Creek Indian)
  • and a little Austrian
Vices Drinking, internet, farting around, memes, interrupting
Politics Anarchist
Horoscope Aquarius
Special day
Books Harry Potter, Anne Rice, Tolkein,
Music Metal (black, melodic death, opera), Hard/classic rock,
Movies Sweeney Todd, Fear and Loathing, 21 Grams, LOTR,
Local Time July 24th, 6:08 AM

I Loved Someone That Didn't Love Me

This is an overarching theme in my life. So much to a point that I doubt everything people say. I don't know if what they say is the truth because it just seems so far-fetched. It's happened... [more]
FireCoyote has shared 33 Mature Experiences
  • I My First Bi-curious Experience

    Mein Teil Since I was 12, I've had an... inkling for other females. My first experience, though, wasn't until I was 16. My best friend and I were at a small get together with a group of friends at someone's hou… [more]
  • I Have Low Self Esteem

    Root Of All My Problems This is something I have been struggling with my entire life. It wasn't until recently that I discovered that the root of at least a majority of my problems. It has been there since my first me… [more]
  • I Am Afraid of Rejection

    People Complain I'm Insensitive.... When in reality, I can't express myself due to my intense fear of rejection and humiliation. Simple as that. I can be able to sometimes (i.e intoxication. I know -- bad), but most of the times, I don'… [more]
  • I Have Trust Issues

    Trusting Someone = Most Difficult Thing. Ever. I don't feel like I can trust anyone around me. It seems to me that people always have some sort of ulterior motive with me. I do not believe that someone truly wants to be my friend. I attribute this… [more]
  • Venting Confessions

    I just... want someone to listen... just once.
    I have been going through a tough time this week with brand new discoveries haunting me all the same. My doctor told me I had HPV. It could become cancer.... I found a label to my disorder. It's codependent.... I don't know if I can do this on my own... I don't know if I can afford a therapist to assist with this, seeing how it's not exactly covered by insurance. I throw myself into things too quickly, and I often feel responsible for everyone and making sure that everyone's okay. That they'll make it out alive. That's what I'm supposed to do.... See to it that they live.... I have never felt so lonely than what I have this week. Or the week before. I don't feel as though there is anyone… [more]
  • Other Confessions

    Dying in America
    The lifestyle of the American. Work, buy, consume, Die. What more is there? Oh yeah: egoism, jealousy, rage. Is there anything more to this than just the rabid malice that consumes everyone in day to day life?I am an American. This is who I am. This is how I live. I live in jealousy. I live with the pain of my own ego. It stabs me in the chest and twists the knife further and further into my side. It hurts. Why can't I say no to this knife? Why do I want nothing more than his life to be absolutely ruined? Still? Why? This hurts. And it's only affecting myself. Even seeing his name anywhere is just like, so your life isn't ruined yet? And then there's that evil voice in my head that tells me … [more]
  • Venting Confessions

    Argh
    I work with my friends who are retarded when it comes to business matters. I started this and am carrying all the responsibility. Co-manager my ***. Won't do ****. My ex keeps showing up in my dreams. Not to mention this teeth grinding dreams where I dream I grind my teeth down to pulverized dust. I am looking for another place to live. I got basically kicked out of my place. I am still looking for a job. I have never had a real job since I graduated college. The world lied to me, and I am angry about it. People try to take over my life. **** OFF. Quit telling me what to do. My best guy friend is in love with me and keeps trying to kiss me. He says it's his way of showing affection as a frie… [more]
  • Embarrassing Confessions

    This Is Going To Sound Very Conceited....
    But I need to get this out there to something. Anything. I don't feel like there's anyone I can talk to about this because of the possible reputation I might have to deal with later. So, I'd rather be faceless and anonymous than be staring at someone right in the face and say what I am about to say. I don't mean to sound conceited or narcissistic or egotistical or anything like that. Please don't take me for that kind of person. I'm just... going through a lot right now. Basically... sigh... I don't know how many actual friends I have that don't want me as their significant other. I don't have many female friends, and I know a few of them don't even think those kinds of thoughts.  Now would … [more]
  • Calm Down! It's Only a Major Life Decision!

    Posted on: April 23rd, 2014 at 11:26PM

    For the past long while, a very good male friend and I have been having this conversation... about us having a child. I have already stated that I don't want children. I don't want the responsibility, and I have no desire to carry on my genetic line. Well... a little part of me does, but it's not worth the pain, suffering, and anxiety of children. I see people do it all the time. To me, it's not worth it. I understand that many of you out there have kids and wouldn't trade it for the world. Go you. It's just not my thing. Anyways, today was the fourth time this has come up, and I think that maybe... this could be serious. I already stated that I didn't want to carry the kid nor take care of … [more]

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  • Thoughts

    Posted on: September 29th, 2013 at 9:52PM

    I know this is going to sound like the famous "first world problems" thing, but honestly, I would just like to know that someone is listening that won't judge me or needs anything from me. You know that famous feeling of being in a room crowded with people but still feel like you're alone? Yeah, that's me right now. I have a lot of people in my life, but not too many of them are too fulfilling. I was telling someone this last night: "This is going to make me sound pretentious, and that's not my aim, but I hang out with a lot of people during my week." I don't know if that truly sounded pretentious or not, but that's the honest truth. I do... but not in a sense of friendship. A majority of … [more]

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  • A Letter

    Posted on: April 2nd, 2012 at 5:54PM

    Dear ____,I'm simply writing to let you know that I thought seeing you this weekend was an absolute antagonistic approach to me. I was offended you showed up to a place where you knew I was gonna' be and remained in plain sight for me to be reminded of how bad you treated me.You never once listened to me when we were together. And you demonstrated that when I pleaded you to stay away. You said to me, "This is the most painful break up I've had to go through. You're making our friends choose sides. I don't understand why you're doing this. I'm not your douchebag cheating boyfriend from the last state you were in before here. I would have never cheated on you."Wrong.So. Wrong.How could you not… [more]

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  • Breaking Codependence: Pt 5

    Posted on: June 30th, 2013 at 10:30PM

    Long time, no talk. A lot has been going on that I will explain later. I accidentally hit the back button and ruined 2 pages of updates. I'm not retyping that right now.Assignment #5: Write about what you think about yourself.Oh alright. Lemme get right on that! HAPPILY!.......Yeah, I've been thinking about this for a while. I'll start with the bad news about myself first and then I'll write about the good things. I look to others for approval far too often. My fear of abandonment, which has led me to my realization that I have "daddy issues". Yay, another female to add to the mix. Now that little voice is saying, hey be nice about this. Excuse me, I didn't want to board this ship, and now… [more]

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