futurehumanitarian 18-21, F
I Am Fascinated By Human Behavior
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Atypical ChordomaI was 5, she was 8 The doctor asked me what I knew about being sick, as a 5 year old, I told him that when I don't feel good my mommy knows what to do and makes me feel better. The doctor… [more]
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I Want You to Write a Letter to Your Future Self
Don't Forget To Bring Me AlongToday my brother said "I don't think you will be a math teacher, you were made to do something bigger" I don't know if I want him to be right.... I want to do something big, and su… [more] -
I Read a Book That Made Me Cry
My Sister's KeeperToo close to home! I don't know if anyone has read it but basically it is about a little girl who faces having a sister with cancer. There is more to the stoy absolutely but thats the part that … [more] -
Special Occasions OnlyI rarely wear make up. Ever since I was little and got some eyeliner in my eye (playing in my moms stuff) I have had a personal vendetta against the stuff. I'll wear it for very special occasions but … [more]
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BattlefieldMy brain is a constant battlefiled similar to those of the civil war. Two separate personalities go back and forth arguing about who I am. One, the one I consider my alliance, is saying that I am a strong girl, a great goal keeper, happy person. This side is basically saying all the things that I want to be, that I truly am. And then, there is my enemy, the voice that tells me I'm pathetic, I suck at everything, no one likes me, I'm ugly a no right to be happy. For most of my life, my alliance has done a wonderful job of keeping my enemy at bay and I have grown into a "wonderful young lady" as a few people have said. But recently, as my brain has become more abstract, 've thought about deat… [more]
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I make lists :)My favorite one right now is my list of the little things... the little things that make me happy, bring out the sunshine in a personal rainstorm The Little Things: -writing in cursive -the way outside smells -playing/dancing in the rain -the first day after being sick -walking down my dorms stairs barefoot (its a heated floor, need i say more) -sleeping in my underwear -someone touching my hand -seeing people come to sudden realizations -listening to friends or loved ones create music -seeing babies smile (I promise that's not supposed to be creepy) -the feeling after eating -the feeling after exercising -laughing so hard I'm rolling on the ground -learning new spanish words -ice cream -l… [more]
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Its just so hard sometimes...I am incredibly sad and I know exactly why I just don't know how to stop being so sad... When I was six my older sister died of cancer (she was nine) and every so often things come up that just remind me of her or make me constantly think that its completely unfair that her life was taken away before it really got started. A few years back I had a really bad spell right as I was getting my drivers liscense (sorry I can't spell very well right now i can hardly see what I"m typing I'm crying so hard) I had all these exciting things going on in my life like prom, boyfriends and I couldn't help but think how it sucks that my sister never got to experience these things... Now I am in my fr… [more]
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Beautiful/FuglyThursday night I came to the realization that I am not what a guy looks at first glance and says "wow she's hot" or "damn she's attractive" sure I've been called attractive or had boyfriends but not before I invite him in to know me a little better, not before he sees a little more of what is behind my looks... Tonight I came to the realization that this is an incredible gift to have… [more]
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Blog Virgin
Well this is my very first blog. Ever. And as a fair warning to anyone who may read this (if people even do read this stuff) I am not an English person, I am not talented in the realms of literature so if you are looking for good grammar and accurate punctuation, turn back now! I'm going to treat this like a journal because that's what I need it to be. Lately I have been in a stage of waiting. I suppose that's where I always am in the summer, and its the lack of activity that puts me there. I am a doer and so, when there isn't much to do, I wait. Unfortunately, with waiting comes thinking, and mostly the bad type of thinking, the kind where I beat myself up and over analyze my life. Y… [more]
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About Me
I'm fascinated by the inner workings of people. That's why I love this site. I also love the freedom of expressing myself.
Member
Since Aug 22, 2010
Local Time
05/23/2013 12:43 PM
Recent Activity
- Last Seen: This Week on Tuesday
