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Female , 36-40
Feeling lonely
I don't know how to end this pain!

Last Seen 2 days ago
Member Since Mar 12, 2012
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Local Time December 20th, 12:21 PM

I Need This Pain To End

I had major back surgery a few months ago. I never would have had the surgery had I not been paralyzed in my left leg & foot. After several years of suffering from sciatic pain down my left leg I... [more]
gatorgirl013 has shared 2 Mature Experiences
  • I Am Bipolar Type Two

    20 Years! I was recently diagnosed as bipolar after 20 years of being misdiagnosed. 20 years of bad relationships, destructive behavior & severe depression is a long time. I wish I had known I was bipolar long … [more]
  • I Am Happy On the Outside But Dying Inside

    Don't Know Where To Start I don't know what to write. I don't know why I feel the way I do or why I've felt this way for so many years. Writing used to come really easy to me because I always thought I had it all figured out w… [more]
  • I Think About Having An Affair

    Affair? I live in a sexless marriage. Most of the time it doesn't bother me so much. I can pretty much take care of myself. But then again I miss being touched & kissed by a man. I am considering finding myse… [more]
  • I Sometimes Can't Talk About Whats Hurting Me

    I Cannot Get Over My Ex Husband I am still in love with my ex husband but I can't talk about it to my friends & family. I started dating him in high school then married him when I turned 18. We were married 12 1/2 yrs & had two sons… [more]
  • Venting Confessions

    I feel like jumping!
    Jumping out of my skin! Anxiety is tearing me apart today! I'm trying to live without meds & I've done pretty good so far until yesterday. These past two days are bad. I've tried staying busy, relaxing, taking deep breaths! I'm on my way on vacation right now & I am not handling it very well! I'm stuck in a car for 5 hours with my dad driving 10 miles under the speed limit, my mom talking nonstop & not able to smoke as well. So when I say jumping out of my skin, jumping from this moving vehicle sounds better! Breathe! I can do this :)… [more]
  • Falling apart.....

    Posted on: March 17th, 2012 at 1:37AM

    I usually don't have trouble writing but my mind is going haywire right now that I just can't get the words out. I know what I want to say but I have too much on my mind. (Breathe Angie! You can do this. Slow down. Relax!)As someone who suffers from depression, I don't handle bad situations well. When a tragedy hits home or I hear bad news I just have a problem holding it together. My husband has been away for 5 months now working out of state so we can "get ahead" & save for hard times. There just isn't any money to be made in our home state like it is 1800 miles away in North Dakota for the pipeline. That in itself has been a hard road to handle. I got really down for the 1st 3 months not … [more]

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  • Time to heal

    Posted on: March 13th, 2012 at 12:41AM

    I want to heal. I need to heal. I have had severe depression for years. I am on depression medicine but I still have many times I get like this for several days & sometimes weeks on end. I have tried suicide in the past, drinking excessively & now experiencing with drugs trying to "make myself feel better" but truth is it only makes me feel worse.  I have bounced from one relationship to the next breaking one heart after another since my divorce to my high school sweetheart/kids' dad. I have a wonderful husband now & I have been considering breaking it off with him after 4 1/2 years & I really know that would be a mistake.  I have so much more I need to say but I can't anymore right now. … [more]

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