godisgracious 18-21, F

You expect me to wait around until you get the balls to leave her. I dont know if i can do that. We day dream of what we could have if the "bump in the road" was'nt there.And ill continue to suffer until shes gone or until im fed up with it. Sometimes i cry at night wondering what went wrong for us to end in the first place. No one gets me like you do, no one ive been with even comes close in comparison to you. God created me for you, and you for me. Im truley convinced were soul mates, it's just unfortunent we'll probaly never turn out to be anything more then friends. Ive wanted to tell you this for years and wanted so desperately to hear the same from you, that I love you, and ill love yo… [more]

ok so after he told me he was in love with her my heart kinda dropped. anytime im really upset or stressed, usually involving a guy, it triggers my anorexia. i havent done it in a few years. im not even sure how i got control over it the last time. gotta admit though, 3 years of eating normally is really good. however,  i wokeup this morning not wanting to eat and was slightly tempted to throw up. ive never done it before so its strange that i considered it. but. . . i forced myself to eat this morning. though i havent eaten as much as i normally would, im doing ok for the moment.… [more]

so since everyone said that itd be a bad idea to tell him i loved him, instead i asked if he loved his gf. he said he was IN love with her. i few months ago he said he hated her and that he like me better. so i stayed up another hour and a half to act like it didnt bother me. im pretty sure he didnt notice anything wrong. then i cried for a couple hours. the sun was coming up when i finally fell asleep. and then, coincadentally, i had a dream of him. we were walking around the mall, we were totally happy and acting like a couple, like in real life, and then he disapeared out of nowhere. and everything around me, the walls, eleavators, doors, were all red. him telling me that he loved his gf,… [more]

I was treated as though i didnt exist by the only person i can honestly say, i was in love with. For some reason he decided that to pretend i didnt exist would be better than to tell me in person. And i felt worthless, like i was invisible and a nobody. Its the worst feeling in the world but i didnt realize it left me with a phobia. My sister and i got into an argument the other day over something stupid, but it took a turn for the worst when she  ignored me when i was talking. I went completely bezerk. I was crying and screaming at her too look at me, or listen to me, or something so she would simply aknowledge me. she didnt, and i felt horrible, not because i overeacted, but because i was … [more]