Female , 41-45

Single female whose love of music and writing is only superseded by her desire to help people who are in need. Much like a mermaid, I adore the water and the sunshine.

Last Seen Dec 5, 2014
Member Since Mar 23, 2011
Favorite Quote Life Goes On
  • a little Lebanese
Special day
Local Time April 28th, 1:04 PM

I Have Multiple Sclerosis

Lie Of Omission I am single and while, yes, there are times when I feel immense loneliness there are still numerous other times when I feel overwhelmingly thankful that I am no longer in a verbally abusive... [more]
heartprotection has shared 1 Mature Experience
  • I Want You to Write a Letter to Your Future Self

    Dear Future Self Dear Future Self, Now that you are older and wiser, surely you have come to the realization that all of your trials and tribulations have been for a reason. You spent so many years putting other… [more]
  • I Was Bullied

    Does Karma Even Exist? As a little girl I was painfully shy and it was quite obvious as I often spent significant periods of time staring down at my feet rather than taking the chance of having to make eye contact with some… [more]
  • I Am Lebanese

    Chubby Thighs Research shows that one's fat may be attributed, to some degree, to the consumption of high fat foods in one's youth.  Butter, honey, pistachios, OH MY! My Grandma Marie's baklava was like no other. … [more]
  • I Have Multiple Sclerosis

    Profanity I was diagnosed on May 17, 2005 with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis after having gone to doctors for over ten years in an effort to figure out what was wrong with me. They treated me as if I w… [more]
  • Love Confessions

    He Loves Me, Never
    I cannot pretend that I am holding a daisy and pulling each petal while asking aloud, "he loves me, he loves me not." No, I have received confirmation upon my very own request that "he loves me, never." This morning I do not know what came over me, but I thought (this is how pathetic I am) he really does love me and I have made up all of this negative stuff in my head. How silly I am to lament on what could have been, he was my friend first, before anything else, and if he said unkind things to me then maybe I deserved them, maybe I was overly sensitive. I jumped out of bed (okay, limped) and proceeded to bathe and dress prior to sending him a text to invite him for breakfast.My preparation … [more]
  • Love Confessions

    Cheesecake For One
    I love the creep; I love him and I hate that I love him. We broke up (for the last time) in September, 2011. He felt the need to say some unkind things to me in February, 2012; I think that it was because he thought I would break down and give him a "booty call." I still feel overwhelming depression and immense pain and sadness when I think about his words.  His stepdaughter was selling cheesecakes for a fundraiser at school and since she is a sweetie pie I could not say no (I cannot even eat it, I am gluten free.) When I purchased the cake in September I told both of them that when they brought it they would have to come in and eat it...and then I hugged her goodbye. This evening they broug… [more]
  • Friends Confessions

    It is not that I do not enjoy being invited to the homes of others for the holidays; I appreciate the invitations, really I do. What I do have difficulty handling are the tilted heads and looks of pity on their faces. No, I do not really have family anymore due to a variety of reasons. My nephew lives in Florida and everyone else is either a great distance from me or they choose not to do anything for the holidays. My real friends are all gone and the friends who I have left are either, once again a great distance away or quite honestly, I think that they are inviting me for the sake of inviting me and do not really mean it. Since I do not drive I use the trains and the busses and when other… [more]
  • My Tears

    Posted on: May 29th, 2011 at 5:03PM

    It is so difficult to stop loving a man who shows you his most wonderful attributes on a regular basis. Never would I wish for the sweet and wonderful man to show me his angry side again, I just need to try hard and remember otherwise this break-up will make me lose all faith in beautiful people.… [more]


  • The occasional pain of loneliness

    Posted on: May 1st, 2011 at 6:21PM

    It has come to my realization that the occasional pain of loneliness is actually better than being an occupant of an emotional rollercoaster that is not only unpredictable but incredibly dangerous. The highs are amazingly wonderful, holding my hand in church and touching my face with the palm of his hand as though he loves me. The lows are extremely painful, saying things like he doesnt feel he needs to explain to me who he will invite or not invite to his sons wedding for his date. Funny, we are exclusive to one another, I promised monogamy and wondered if when he said he booked a hotel room for himself he was trying to let me know that I was not invited. I was actually nervous to ask him b… [more]


  • Peace and Quiet

    Posted on: February 1st, 2013 at 8:03PM

    Okay, maybe I did say that I was ready for date but am I? If someone were to actually ask me would I be able to accept the invitation? My ex has been able to move on (almost immediately after I am guessing..or perhaps during) after "we" ended; why can't I? I have repeatedly asked myself this even though I know the answer. Those who can move on immediately are able to do so because they did not love us. In this case he never loved me, I was but a mere convenience much like a 7-11...always happy to serve him when he arrived and always sorry to see him go. The difference is that he never paid me.My relapsing remitting ms scares me but I suppose knowing that I may never date again scares me more… [more]


  • test

    Posted on: May 29th, 2011 at 4:56PM

    This is a test to make sure that I properly handled my "cookies' as instructed. … [more]