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Male , 56-60
Feeling thoughtful
I am feeling much better,Thank you all for the GetWells.I'm very busy taking a "How to write short-stories" course.Lots of homework.

I have been HAPPILY Married for 18+ yrs. to the most Beautiful Christian Women in the world. She stood by me when I began symptoms/signs of Delayed*-Onset-PTSD** starting in 1996 (at age 42) after being married ONLY 2 yrs. Nightmares/Terrors, Flashbacks, drinking, panic attacks, Disassociative Fugue Disorder, Sexual/Gender-Identity-Disorder. When all this happened - beginning in 1996, I could not work. I was agoraphobic. She worked very Longggg hours to support her & me and put food on the table. She is worth her weight in GOLD, Diamonds & Sapphires. Now I'm 80% better, BUT still recovering. Sometimes I still have nightmares, & sometimes still get flashbacks & panic attacks. I'm in AA w/ 3+ yrs sobriety, AND still happily married. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MORE ABOUT MY WIFE: She's also a breast-cancer survivor & has had a Right side mastectomy + lymph nodes. She also has had 2 strokes, and as a result of the mastectomy,3 days later she developed a blood clot & suffered a stroke in her RT. occipital lobe (i.e. RT, rear, bottom of brain) resulting in left peripheral blindness.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------MORE ABOUT ME: The Abuse: The PTSD (Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder), was from mother-son covert incest, starting when I was 11 & 1/2 (beginning in April 1964) when I was just starting into puberty, and lasted until I was 17. Also, I was a teen who also started to wet the bed again. (I had not done this since age 5). I had become TOO TERRIFIED to get up & go to the bathroom, afraid I'd run into my "MONSTER" of a mom.--------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------Two terrible heinous things she made me do was: ----1) Forced me to wet/mess myself, in my "boys" Jockey underwear.--------------------------------------------------------------2) She made me wear girls clothes, including girls underwear (age 12-15?). As a result, I started "feeling" like a girl & developed a Sexual/Gender-Identity-Disorder, which I still have some symptoms of to this day.
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This was made worse, when I was gang-raped (anally) by 3 bullies who were seniors in my high-school. They thought I was GAY which I wasn't. I did NOT date, NOR talk to girls, NOR talk about sex. REASON? I became terrified of my mom & henceforth ALL females.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------All the above were some the main reasons why I developed my Sexual/Gender-Identity-Disorder, i.e. Why I thought I could be a girl. MY REASONING (however mistaken) was this: 1) ONLY "GIRLS" wear GIRLS clothing & underwear, 2) ONLY "GIRLS" wet their pants, and 3) ONLY "GIRLS" get RAPED. If you were in my situation - and remember I was in the beginning of puberty --- a very confusing and fearful stage EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY, & SEXUALLY, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL/THINK?--------------------------------------------------------------
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ASK ME ANYTHING. I'll be glad to answer any QUESTION. I'm NO Longer AFRAID NOR EMBARRASSED to talk about my abusive family life NOR the RAPE, NOR about the: wetting/messing/bed-wetting.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NOTES: **"[PTSD": Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder], -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------* ["Delayed-Onset": Referring to the Signs & Symptoms (of PTSD, e.g. Flashbacks, etc) that can occur after the actual traumatic event. Sometimes years later. Mine occurred 29 yrs later. Also, the effects can be made worse if the abuse is sexual abuse by someone the victim knows & trusts (e.g. my mother), as opposed to a stranger, and the duration is longer as opposed to the abuse happening one time. PLUS: the effects of sexual abuse on boys can be far more damaging/worsened -- since boys are less prone to tell someone else OR share their SECRET with a therapist (like me "too ashamed"). AND if the boy is sexually abused and/or raped by another male, he may think he is Gay. If you are a male who was abused/raped by another male, The answer is most usually -- NO! Your NOT Gay/homosexual]. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------STATISTICS: According to the National Agency of the Prevention of Child Abuse, "1 out of 3 girls, and, 1 out of 5 boys, are sexually abused by SOMEONE THEY KNOW*, BEFORE the age of 18." *"Some They Know, refers to a close friend -- someone the child and/or family knows OR a family member.------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------This can be a: father, mother, uncle, aunt, grandfather, grandmother, cousin, brother, sister, BUT USUALLY NOT the "Stranger on the street." -----------------------------------------------------
And YES, sexual abusers CAN BE female. MINE was my mother. SO, the next time you are at a large gathering, e.g. an assembly, a sport game, a movie theater -- count out every 3rd girl, and every 5th boy...those could be the victims of the HORRIBLE HEINOUS ACT of ----- SEXUAL ABUSE!!!
OR --- MAYBE YOUR THE VICTIM....IF YOU ARE, OR, THINK YOU MAY BE, BUT NOT SURE OR CAN'T REMEMBER – Feel free to send me a message.

Last Seen Nov 29, 2013
Member Since Jul 08, 2012
Favorite Quote You have 2 ears & 1 mouth, please use respectfully.
Heritage
  • a little Scots-Irish
  • and a little Dutch
Vices I'm a READ-a-holic. Reading books is my escape.
Politics Moderate
Horoscope Pisces
Special day 1-29
Books Anything by Judy Blume, Madeline L'Engle.
Music Classical, Blue-grass country, Christian
Movies The Goonies, Peter Pan, Hook, Nim's Island.
Local Time July 25th, 3:39 AM

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