get depressed pretty easily.
want to be loved by everyone.
want more love.
a really fun girl. actually.
down for a good time.
love to dance.
love getting As.
know how to party hard.
- a little Chinese
- and a little Thai
- and a little Korean
My First Experience with (speedy) Ecstasy Before ecstasy, I have never done any "hard" drugs...I did try marijuana but didn't like the high. I got super munchy on MJ and wouldn't stop eating and I hated that. Anyway, my first exp… [more]
I'm Not Addicted. I Live On This Stuff. It started since I got into college. I transferred from a community college in a different city. My new university is one of the best in the US. Very competitive and first year I found myself being an… [more]
21 But Look 12 I'm 21 I look around 14-16 The lowest number I got was 12...crazy I act like I'm 18 I sound 16-17 I feel 15.... the last is the worst because I wish I… [more]
"i'm Thai" "really?!?! You Look Chinese!!" Yes I look Chinese, Japanese, Korean or whatever, but I'm Thai. I was born in Thailand, and lived there for 15 years. My first language is Thai, and I understand why most Americans don't get we… [more]
I know I've been quite depressed. Busy with finals, graduation, friends, internship etc. I've been pretty pessimistic also. I always thought no one cared about me. Today, those thoughts still slip in and out of my mind. I can't really help it. But something made me smile today. Those things made me realize my life isn't too bad after all. Here are some of them... 1. my bf when I first got with my bf, I didn't really think we would last. i found him to be quite immature, a little selfish and was not really a bf material. but recently, he has proved me wrong. maybe it's because I've been depressed, but he's been giving more love, care, and attention than usual + he's been really supportive o… [more]
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umm I just don't understand... How can anyone stand my dad? He's not the nicest guy. He might be rich but that's about it. So all these wives and kids r all over him. I wonder if they really love him or his money. I can't fuking stand him. I wish I wasn't his kid. He doesn't know how to be a (good) dad. He doesn't know anything but how to *** and ***. I wish someone cut his **** off. I wish he could feel the pain I have been feeling all my life. I wish he gave me all his money and just die. I know that's never gonna happen. I'm the worst kid in his eyes. He thinks I'm extremely problematic and rebellious and he HATES it. He wants everyone to obey him. He loves rules. He loves money more tha… [more]
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July/13/2010 (TUES) 3.18 am called dad at 1 am. talked for half an hour. hanged up and cried called hunni at 1.30 am. talked for an hour. hanged up and smiled dad talked about same old **** again. how many times do i have to hear this? i know i suck at sucking up but seriously? i totally forgot to "apologize" to him hunni...he was sleeping...he has work tomorrow u know...i knew he was sleeping yet i still called him... im so inconsiderate and spoiled but i needed him badly he woke up and talked to me tho. he listened and gave me very very good advice. hes honest. he told me what i did wrong. he recognized my fault and pointed it out, but so gently...he is the complete opposite of my dad v… [more]
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July/27/10 (TUES) 3.15 am I havent written a blog for a while. I guess I ve been feeling alright and I think I got depressed coz of the ecstasy I took at a rave last month. My dad and I talk again and he finally agrees to pay for some of my expenses. Normally, I'd go crazy coz he is once again taking advantage of my mom, but I've been calm enough to not ask for more + my bf keeps me sane and normal and I think I should try to change the way I think. I know I'm pretty fuked up and I still think like a kid. Very immature. To help my mom out, i gotta shut up and do whatever I can to be okay with my dad....for now... So i've been taking 5-htp. dunno if its placebo effect or what but it does he… [more]
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