Female , 26-30
On a good day I'm dark and twisted, on a bad day I'm just dark.
Last Seen Mar 18
Member Since Feb 05, 2012
Favorite Quote Live and let live.
- 100% West Indian
Vices Chocolate, Endorphins.
Politics Very Liberal
Special day 4-14
Books Any and everything by Laurell K. Hamilton.
Music Rock groups like Nightwish, Evanesence, Flyleaf, Within Temptation, etc.
Local Time August 1st, 1:07 PM
Profile Whiteboard Recent Activity 8 Stories 25 Experiences 10 Friends 7 Confessions 35 Questions Trophies
idrublood has shared 6 Mature Experiences
What Causes Me To Cut. All my life I have tried to be what was expected. But as I got older, I saw that I was different. After the pain of breaking up with my first male lover, I realized that I was bisexual or most likely … [more]
Just Me. Since I've started reading more and more, I came accross erotic stories that have good plots mixed in with the erotic parts. Since then I've becom inspired and have been writing non stop. I find a thr… [more]
My Life's Greatest Fear Becomes Real In A Dream I had the worst nightmare last night. I dreamed that my aunt and cousin verbally backed me into a corner that caused me to out myself as a lesbian. That in turn caused me to be ostracized by my family… [more]
I Butcher Meat And Myself. A few months ago I started cutting myself. It was my way of dealing with my stress. But looking back on my life I realized that I have been cutting myself subconsciously for years. I’m a butche… [more]
Another Day Another Cut.It's another day in the life of me and again I've cut myself. These cuts are not the big ones that produce blood but the little scratches that leave red lines on my skin. Days after the initial mark, I'm left with thin scab marks to remind me of what I've done to myself. I wonder if I'm insane for the feelings I get each time I look at the marks I've left. Is it insane to find pleasure in harming myself? Maybe so, but this is me and my life and I can't stop myself. When I started this, it was to escape my emotional pain. But the pain is still there and nothing so far can take it away. They say time heals all, but in my case, it just makes it worse. My cutting has become my only pleasure… [more]
I’ve just cut again.I just had a conversation with my ex. It’s not like I can avoid them, we have certain business issues that require us to communicate from time to time. But lately we can’t seem to have a conversation about only business. She insists upon bringing up the past and asking the unanswered questions. If I had the answers, the questions wouldn’t be unanswered. As always, it ended with me feeling like crap and needing to feel anything else. So now I four new cuts on my left arm. The eternal emptiness is there again within me and I just want to keep taking the razor to my skin. It’s not the ideal solution but it’s the only one that works… IDB.… [more]
I've Cut AgainMy stress levels were good for the last two to three weeks, then my parents started arguing and I got pulled into it. It was really heated with threats of physical violence being passed. I got so stressed, so mad, so full of rage that my only release was to cut my arm and let the pains soothe my emotions. It was all I could do not to go out of control. Even after I calmed, I still made a few cuts just to feel the endorphins and take comfort in the marks that will be left behind. It used to be only my failed relationship made me cut but now, all stresses are sending me down that road. … [more]
Cutting AgainHow can things be fine one minute and then spiraling out of control the next? I thought I would survive this year’s valentine. I gave myself what I wanted and needed, namely chocolates and an endorphin kick with a solitary cut on my arm. But then today of all days, I find the ring I had given my girl as a sign of my commitment to her. I fell apart immediately at the memories and carved up my arm to keep the tears at bay. I’m broken hearted again just as if the break up happened yesterday. My only salvation for my sanity is that I can put it all here. … [more]