imperfectbeauty 18-21, F

I am very quick to tell the truth, but I seem to deny it all the time. I deny the truth about my life all the time, maybe I do this because I dont feel comfrotable knowing the truth. Maybe its because of the drugs. I am not sure why but I have realized it recently, and I must say that I am almost to the point of denying something that I think is true. I dont know if you will actually understand that, because I kind of dont. I am so confused about life right now, Im not sure what to do...… [more]

Oh gosh I never thought this day would ever come, but it has and I am kind of embrassed that it has. I am not the type of person to listen to "pop" music, I am more into hardcore rap or rock.. BUT damnit I came across the song Pocket Full of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield. YES I know that it is so lame for me to listen to this song over and over, I actually started dancing like one of those cheerfull cheerleaders.. I am so ashamed of myself. I cant believe this is actually happening, but I think I am becoming something that I actually hate.. What the hell is wrong with me!!… [more]

As I sit here and drown myself in a bottle of vodka, I come to realize it is time to get something off my chest. Something that I have been carrying around in a locked box for far too long... I killed her, it was all my fault. Never did I think that if I got behind the wheel I with just a little buzz that all of this would happen... So here it goes...One night me and my friends decided to car jack one of my friends mom.. We were all too wasted and high to drive but I was the brave one and did it.. We were doing good for a while or at least we all thought we were. Until we meet with dead man curve and a car at the same time. It all was a bit blurry but what I do remember is running to the oth… [more]

If you mess with fire, you will get burnt..You lay down with dogs, you will get the fleas..Heard that before?? I have millions of times, yet I continue to play with that fire and lay with those dogs... Even after I catch the fleas and get burnt I go back to them dogs and that fire... Why? I have no idea..It is a waste of time to make the same mistake twice, if I didn't learn the first time then I won't learn the second time either. Still here I am still making the same mistakes.. I even know and can admit that they are mistake, yet I continue to do them... Maybe I just don't want to learn from them, Maybe I just want to continue doing what I want and say screw the rest...Maybe so...… [more]