I am a newlywed! Challenging, interested in sharing thoughts, curious about everyone and everything. Caring of others.
I am a mixture of so many things. i am feminine but not fussy. Passionate about life, my "people". If you are in life ... you are there to stay! I do not "throw people away". If you want to walk away .... your choice!
I love working with wood, the smell, the feel ... creating or restoring something solid. (I even have my own tools)
I am here to be and become a friend.
- 100% Canadian
- and a little Celtic
- and a little French-Canadian
- and a little Aboriginal
- and a little English
- and a little German
It's Lonely In The Middle Of The Night When I wake in the middle of the night, my hand automatically searches for you. My cold feet search for the warmth of your body. You are not there! There is such a feeling of emptiness that … [more]
It Is Nice To Sit On People's Laps Sitting on someone's lap is so very nice. It feels sooo good. Usually they wrap their arms around you, then you get to snuggle in close. It is so nice to be held that way! Of… [more]
I Like Music With Meaning - The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald This song has so much meaning for me. It is a true song and I remember this night so well. I was seventeen and alone with my newborn baby girl. She was sleeping peacefully on the c… [more]
I Know My True Love... I recognized my true love, just the other day. He tiptoed by so softly... he almost slipped away A flash drew my attention, it was deep within his heart. A faded memory sparkled ..… [more]
Why Did I Ever Start Smoking?Withdrawal from smoking is going to drive me up the wall! I have this grinding ache throughout my body. I want a cigarette so bad ... I light one ... it makes me nauseous so I put it out. If feels like bugs crawling just under my skin! I can scratch and the itch won't go away! I am actually dizzy and sweating, feeling shaky.I can't settle. All I think about is smoking and how much I want a cigarette! I try to write and I am drawing blanks. This is ridiculous! How can I let such a tiny little thing rule my life, my health? My doctor told me a smoking addiction is just as insidious as heroin addiction. It seduces you promising euphoria, Just one more .... who will it hurt? Me!!! I… [more]
UpdateI think I am finally growing upAnother Father's Day has come and gone. I realized that I don't know if my father is alive or dead. I thought about him... a lot. I came to the realization that I have made peace with myself about my feelings for him. All that remains is an incredible sadness. He obviously has never experienced love in his life. While I cannot say he will ever be my best friend. I would talk to him if I saw him today. Forgive him... yes. Forget? I don't think I ever will. I am greatful that he helped to give me life. I have experienced more love than grief in my life. I don' think he would be able to say the same. Now... as to his final resting place... Forensic … [more]
A Conversation With MyselfI cannot remember the last time I felt so helpless, hopeless, angry, ridiculous, lost, lonely, used, abused, misunderstood and alone!No warm fuzzies for me today! I am wallowing in misery! I feel so misunderstood, unappreciated, shocked and disappointed in myself. I am such a bad judge of character. I hate feeling like this!So enough already! Get it in gear dear! You are not a quitter, so quit acting like one! Get your *** up and move it! Fake it if you have to! Life is too short to be negative! Okay. okay .... I get the picture! Onward and upward. Tomorrow is another day (Thank God!)… [more]
Sometimes You Can't ForgiveThere is a man in my life who I will never forgive. I loved him completely, trusted him implicitly, stood by him, wrote letters in his defense. He betrayed me in every way that matters. He hurt the people closest to me, used my love as a shield to hide behind, causing his victims to distrust me, believe that he was more important than they were. He got away with his behaviours for years, infesting my life with his poison! Until I found out how vile he truly is. He knows I know. If he sees me he turns and literally runs the other way. He cannot face me. I think he is still alive. I am his next of kin, executor of his estate, the papers are still valid I check from time ti time. I w… [more]