JenniferR90 18-21, F
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I Am Battling a Progressive Disease Which I Can't Control
Breaking Through Barriers . . .I was diagnosed with AML (Acute myeloid leukemia) at a very early age. I have had my ups and down with my disease but I have found the best way for me to handle it is to just look at it as… [more] -
I Am a New Member At Experience Project
Meet Jenniferr90!We caught up with new member JenniferR90 and asked a few fun questions. Get to know your new community member and don't forget to say Hello! EP: Good evening and welcome. Wonderf… [more]
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Waiting and Praying!
Tests, Tests, Tests!! Trying not to panic while I wait on results. Thelast were really good so I am hopeful these will also be as good.Tumors were 90% smaller and what we hope is this round of treatment is my last . . I literally feel like I can't breath!! I am so anxious. It's like a combinationof fear and excitement reside in my body playing a game of tug-of-war!I fear if I get too excited I will be disappointed and at the same time II fear if i keep feeling scared I will jinx myself aaaahhhhh!!! I know!!!!I know!!! Calm down Jennifer!! lol Easier said than done . . I HATEwaiting ggaaaahhhhh lol lol Okay DEEP BREATH, DEEP BREATH . .Sooo, I need to find a way to keep my mind OFF the tests… [more]
Comments: 6 Views: 2325 Flag
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powerless!
04/24/2012Funny how things always come full circle. No matter how hard you tryeventually you reach a breaking point and your only choice is to give into the emotion and just wade through your own river of shards . .Feeling sorry for myself? mmmmm yup! Feeling caged? mmmm yup!Exhausted? OVERLY!!! Drained, dry, scared, frustrated, hateful, sad,emotional, emotionless, feisty, lazy, bubbly, dull, lovable, clingy, needy,burdensome, lonely, desperate, dispirited, drained, flat, low, powerless,bitter, worthless . . . . . . why?????If I knew that answer i would never feel this way. Maybe because I amexhausted, maybe I am just tired of being here feeling helpless, maybeit's just because I am having a… [more]
Comments: 5 Views: 1778 Flag
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The Juice is worth the squeeze . . .
Not too long ago I was pretty upset when told if I left here that mylife would go in a direction I did not want it to. I was bitter for a fewmoments, not because I was ready to give up on life but becauseI was tired of fighting and just wanted to go home. I believe God has control of all things and even today believe nomatter what I should decide medically that I will be here only aslong as he allows. Because there are those who do not have thekind of faith it would take to lean on God, I chose to stay fearing myleaving here might upset another man's belief in God. Not only wasI unwilling to risk this and have his/her faith in God destroyed fallingon my head but I wasn't willing to put him/h… [more]
Comments: 4 Views: 2094 Flag
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]Learning to OPEN UP..
As I near the last weeks and days here. excitement is starting to replaceall my fears!! I have shared so much of who I am with the love of my life,all accept my deepest fears until recently. I am very strong and I do pridemyself on keeping a positive attitude but just like anyone else in the worldI do have buried pain, insecurities and fear. I finally broke down, and whowas there to pick me up?? Dennis who is always there for me!!Opening up that very vulnerable side of me was not just hard for me to dobut hugely painful. I learned something by doing so and that is the fearsI did have about letting him see this side were all unfounded fears turnedout to be the opposite of what I thought might… [more]
Comments: 3 Views: 1959 Flag
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About Me
Too young to feel like an Old Person . . I am 21 going on 50 most of the time, try to stay positive and upbeat.. I am playful and gifted, I can be se… See All +
Member
Since Jan 19, 2012
Special Day
November 30th 
Local Time
05/20/2013 4:22 AM
Recent Activity
- Last Seen: Last Week on Tuesday
