k8ewazhere 18-21, F

when i was younger, i was, as my mom says, 'a fat kid'.. and i got picked on soooo badely ! it was sadening cuz no one would help me.. soo around the end of 7th grade-end of 8thgrade i stopped eating.. not completely, like id hav a meal once a wk.. a lil snack every few days.. but i was 150pounds to, well then, 120pounds,... and i still wasnt happy ... but i startd eating again cuz my friends wer consern for my heath so i ate alil more.. and now im 130pounds, about a month ago.. well i feel rlly fat ! i feel disgusted w. myself so i stopped eating, and i dropped to 125pounds and grew to be 5'10'' .. apperently im under my weight limit by 20 pounds.. BS! AND IM STILL BEING CALLED FAT !!!!  ug… [more]

iv recently stared cutting myself once again.. after a month of not cutting, i started once again, cuz' i need it !... it calms me down and stop the tears when i inflect pain upon my wrists... this is my third time iv restarted cutting myself.. and i do it for the pain i feel in my heart.. i feel non-human wen im not cutting myself, i need to see the red bubbles of blood come thru my skin to reasure im still human, that i'm 'normal like the others. each mark repersent a time of my life i just wanted to disapere or 'die'.. i keep it hiddin from my friends, except for my closes ones, and people who find out. but i keep it from my parents, because they'll say i'll try to commit suicide. even th… [more]