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Male , 56-60

Former television director, former private investigator, fine arts photographer, commercial photographer, amateur social worker. I love to give advice and will even take it if it sounds reasonable. I also have lots of pictures in my gallery to prove that I actually do photograph. Transplanted to Chicago after 30 years in New York, I probably need serious therapy and medication, but here I am on EP.

Last Seen Dec 8
Member Since May 05, 2010
Favorite Quote the imagination lives by risk, including the risk of incomprehension...
Heritage
  • a little Italian
Vices Vodka and Snickers Bars
Politics Anarchist
Horoscope Gemini
Special day
Books I can\'t read.... I\'m from New York
Music I also don\'t have a favorite color... nor a favorite book
Movies No one favorite or too many to name.
Local Time December 28th, 10:00 AM

I Battle Depression

Every day. They want me to make my story longer, but how do you describe depression after; "it's like a black swamp that cuts out the sunlight, makes one want to be dead and kills off any feelings... [more]
lightpainter has shared 13 Mature Experiences
  • I Am Scared of My Emotions

    My Emotions are like another person.  They are an entity unto themselves.  My passions can be horrifying and intense.  Last night I deleted my entire post in a fit of rage.  Nothing viole… [more]
  • I Am Horrible At Math

    Most Of My Traumatic Experiences in life can be directly attributed to problems with math.  Tutors used to hit me and curse at me, teachers berated me for being "lazy" and my engineer father was deeply disappointed that I wouldn… [more]
  • I Live In a Sexless Marriage

    Last Night After One Of Our Very Brief Encounters.................. I told my wife that she doesn't have to always wait for me to initiate sex, and to feel free to attack me anytime she wants. She informed me that it's not in her personality to do that. Meaning that w… [more]
  • I Am An Alcoholic

    I Need A Drink between the hours of 10:00 pm and 12 midnight.  Does this make me an alcoholic?  Or just someone who needs some relief from the pressures of the day?   AA insists… [more]
  • Depression.................................................

    Posted on: December 16th, 2010 at 9:17AM

    Depression is like another country.  One that is populated by those unfortunate enough to have gained citizenship.  Those who have never experienced depression cannot imagine what it's like to live here.  It's a place of invisible pain, since you know something hurts but don't know where the pain is. The symptoms are extreme anger at things, large and small, random crying, restlessness, lack of concentration and an overall feeling of malaise.  Others have grand plans, you just want to get through the day.  Others smile at you and you wonder how do they do it. You feel disconnected from the rest of life, like you're behind a wall.   You feel separate and alone.  In a well.  Black as night. Yo… [more]

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  • Perpetual Blues...............

    Posted on: December 15th, 2010 at 5:22PM

    Fast forward to December, feel as bad as I did in May. I have to finally admit that I'm clinically depressed. … [more]

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