Post
Message
Report
Female , 18-21

Last Seen Apr 27
Member Since Jul 03, 2010
Favorite Quote
Heritage
  • a little German
  • and a little Russian
Vices Coffee, my journal, and the occasional margarita
Politics
Horoscope Aquarius
Special day
Books Too many!
Music Metal
Movies American Beauty, Requiem for a Dream
Local Time August 21st, 6:17 AM

I Love These Lyrics

Shine raise your eyes before the walls come down Wilder than lions, louder than sound All the birds and the bees are getting older now There's a cold breeze blowing over my soul. [more]
  • I Challenge Your Concept of Beauty

    Understated Beauty. I think some of the most beautiful people in this world are understated - buried in messy hair, baggy jeans, a loose sweater and torn up sneakers - but there is a subtle glint in their eye and an air … [more]
  • I Am Afraid of Being Myself

    Constant Battle Inside. I'm at a constant battle with myself. I'm naturally more quiet but honest when I'm with people, yet I always feel like that's not good enough. Like it's not the "right" way to be. I feel like I have t… [more]
  • I Am a Loner

    Party Of One. I think what I enjoy about doing things by myself is that I'm the only person I have to take into consideration. I don't mean to sound selfish because I don't mean it in a selfish, self-centered … [more]
  • I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

    Getting His Attention - In Poem-ish Form. i've killed my spirit joyfully danced through maplesyrup misery wore the fist in my heart like an accessory while your glass eyes don't want to see me or anyone else who isnt h… [more]
  • Other Confessions

    Need Inspiration.
    School is interfering with my creativity. I want to fall into a psychedelic pit haunted by creepy music, books I've been meaing to read, and words that have slipped into my mind like a night stalker.… [more]
  • Other Confessions

    My question, my wish.
    I wish I had the courage to be more open with other people. When I miss someone who I've lost touch with, I wish I was brave enough to reach out to them. If I feel affection or interest in someone, I wish I had the confidence to let them know. When I've wanted to extend the arm of peace and friendship to an ex-boyfriend, I wish I had the bravery to do so. Emotionally, I'm closed off. Distant. Impermeable. I shut people out and keep people at arm's length. Yet I want to get close to other people. I want to feel loved and have a loving relationship. This seems to easy for other people to accomplish. A lot of people I know have no trouble entering into long term relationships and forming friend… [more]
  • Other Confessions

    Fear.
    Whereas a lot of people are haunted by dark times in their lives, I'm haunted by the happy times. Sometimes I wonder if the best years are gone...and I'm only in my 20s.… [more]
  • Other Confessions

    Blurred boundaries.
    I have this vivid fantasy life and alter-self that exists in my head. It's been there for at least 10 years, since I was a child. This life and alter-self is filled with everything I want in my life and everything I want to be. The problem is, it's become so overactive that it's really hard to shut off and see my own life as it is. I mean, I know what's real and what's fantasy, but the fantasy has taken over my mind. It's like a security blanket that keeps me warm and lets me sleep. I haven't put nearly as much effort into my interpersonal relationships because of my inner fantasy land. I'm at the point where I want to really make it end, but I can't seem to forget it and move on. I've tried… [more]