lovexghoul 36-40, F

I was 16. At this point, i remember i had already given up on god. I had prayed to him as a young child and a young adult. For years I  begged him to save me from my dad.I did some ritual. I think i might have gotten  it from the satanic bible. Unsure. Candles were lit. I cut myself... Those are just a few  things i remember. I was wanting to sell my soul to the devil. Of course now when i look back on it, i think it is funny but at the time i was looking for an exit from how my life was. Any avenue at this time would have worked. Of course nothing happened.   A few months later i took some LSD.  It was pretty potent. I was alone in my room..watching the walls melt..feeling my brain cells po… [more]

i am a pill popper and a midnight smoker/toker!… [more]

I am jealous of everything i will never have I look at all the other people that have so much more then me and i feel like a piece of ****. I work so hard for the little bit that i get. i do not have a husband with a good job.  I will never have a new car. I will never own my own house...yet i work so hard for the things that i do have... my ****** little house that i rent.... in a not so great area....  i try to switch it up to at least i have all my limbs and my children are healthy but...sometimes this weighs down on me heavily:(… [more]