Female , 18-21

I hate myself, usually. If i'm not exercising, working or hanging out with friends, I'm sad. I love to play my guitar, mostly metal stuff, and I enjoy singing Alexisonfire songs and Rise Against songs. I hope to become a famous musician one day, mostly so I can give the money I make to charity. I love to cook, but I want to get tattoos and you need to be un-inked to be a pro-chef. So now I'm just focusing on becoming a musician... I hate hate hate talking about my feelings, and things that bother me. I am very protective of my friends and family, I don't give a crap about... I hate children, They're disgusting, I hate overly fat people, who think it's OK and sexy to be over-weight. That's just wrong. Anyways, I love to be cheery, sometimes I actually am too! My passion is my guitar, It's like my child, except without the crying and pooping. The only problem I have with knowing a musical intrument is, once I mastered my guitar, I can't help but analyze ever piece of music I listen to, it's kind of annoying. My hiccups sound fake, they sound like a squeak, and my sneezes sound like a giggle and a squeak. I make weird high-pitched noises.

I live to please those I love, I enjoy putting aside my problems to help others. I know I'll get my time to share my feelings, but I just have this overwhelming-ness to put others before myself. Yes, I think it's unhealthy, but I love the person I am, eating disorder and all.

Last Seen May 13, 2012
Member Since Jul 17, 2009
Favorite Quote
  • a little Greek
  • and a little Cuban
  • and a little Polish
  • and a little Newfoundlander
  • and a little Irish
Vices sex, eating, puking, turning people on/flirting
Politics Anarchist
Horoscope Gemini
Special day
Books anything D&D
Music My fav's rang from paramore, the used & anti-flag to pantera, Pg.99, and Circle Takes A Square. I love loud music to head bang to & mosh to. I love to learn the guitar parts of bands I like.
Movies mostly scary, romantic and heart warming
Local Time May 23rd, 4:31 AM

I Battle Depression

Contemplation I've spent a lot of time, an abnormal amount of time in the past few weeks contemplating suicide. Day dreaming of how I'd do it, how I'd kill myself. I think I'd like to do some sort of suicide by... [more]
maddii1423 has shared 15 Mature Experiences
  • I Hate Emos

    Stupid Cutters Emo, is a genre. I like the music, But I hate people who call themselves emo, and I expecially hate people who cut themselves, and pretend to have problems. All they want is attention.… [more]
  • I Have a Huge Secret

    Bad Secrets. A year ago, my boyfriend was at work, he was telling me not to go to this town carnival because creepy kids we know would be there. But I went anyways, there I found this guy that always snooped by… [more]
  • I Hate My Parents

    Screaming My mom beats me, anytime I say something she doesn't want to hear. My dad is a violent drunk. I hate them for it. As a child, my memories of my parents are mostly of them arguing, my dad strangling… [more]
  • I Am Heart Broken

    My Life Was A Lie... I was never crying never frowning, i was always so radiant and bright so happy and energetic.... because i had him. He took away my stress and my worries i feel like for almost the past year i've live… [more]
  • Love Confessions

    Tail lights
    I know you're my brothers best friend... Im sorry Robin for stealing your bff so we can laugh about the music that we love. But when his tail light comes flying past the living room window, i know he's coming to visit; my heart flutters and my hands sweat. I am so in love with him. I can't help that i have a boyfriend and i will never tell him i like him, make a move or ever stop flirting with him regardless. I know it's obvious because i can't lie to that handsome face, he makes me blush like crazy and all i can do is giggle because at times if i try and make anything remotley like words my tongue gets all tied up. And Benji... im sorry i love you, and i'm sorry i love him, We've been tog… [more]
  • I'm Back....

    Posted on: June 29th, 2010 at 10:13PM

    As some of you may know i haven't been on this site in a year... why? well because i felt like this site is my crutch... and that i should try talking about my feelings instead of posting them for strangers to read. But in honesty this isn't really just some place i can rant, this is my place to sort things out for myself, even einstein had his own team of geniuses. So im back, and boy do i have a bunch of stories to share with my favorite site :] im happy to be back... my lifes crumbling and i need my team back! … [more]


  • Songs i wrote

    Posted on: August 23rd, 2010 at 11:32AM

    1. Cliche [thinkin this song would be like a ska type song] i smoke weed and play guitar it's a cliche i know (oh oh) what a cliche and i know im quite bizare but hey... im a cliche as i sit here with my six string and a blunt singing my life story to strangers who don't give a **** [you have to rap this XD] born in 1994, my life is quite a bore parents ditched me and my bro when we was only ten this ****'s breakin down again cuffed by the cops a year later turned into a big skater shipped off to live with my grandies fell in love threefold thought i found someone to hold did some drugs met some thugs got me some sex and suddenly everything was so complex my brain got charred hit … [more]