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Female , 46-50

I'm a combination of "really together" or "I'm a total fucking mess!" Better described as Moody.

Last Seen 5 days ago
Member Since Mar 14, 2012
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Local Time July 22nd, 7:11 AM

I Deal With Depression And Loneliness

Adventures Of A Middle-Aged Dude Adventures of a Middle-aged Dude“Sir, you look a little lost, can I help you with something?”Bud trudges up to the fashion diva sales girl. She looks amused. This disconcerts him... [more]
mariaweeks has shared 1 Mature Experience
  • I Have An Opiate Addiction

    Opiate Cravings I used to love those pills. They made me feel at one with the Universe. My lifetime mood disorder finally cleared up thanks to my friends, tram, oxy, roxi..I became so much more pleasant to be around… [more]
  • I Went to Rehab

    Best Thing I Ever Did: Long Term Treatment  I was a part-time crack addict years back.  Was able to hold down a job, 'cause I was a weekend warrior.  But, like clock work, once a month, I'd have these cravings that were so overwhelming--… [more]
  • I Am Battling Alcoholism

    My Ambivalence Towards Aa You know, I go back and forth about AA. I remember a quote from Ghandi: "I love your Christ, I don't like your Christians." Ditto, AA. I love the program, but I'm not really crazy about some of the ol… [more]
  • I Need a Damn Job

    Looking For A Job Is Like A Bad Comedy Okay, I'm a little removed from the work force.  Had been a unrepentant slacker for the longest time.  But in these tough economic times, being a slacker is just not feasible.  I've had no choice b… [more]
  • Venting Confessions

    Telling people off--not to their face but in my mind
    I have this strange way of nursing my resentments, and I wonder if anyone else does this, and what I might try and do about it.  Let me give an example:  I went to visit this friend (who doesn't have car, and has to rely on the bus) last week which costs me about 10 dollars in gas, and since I'm broke, it was a sacrifice.  I used to have money, so I never thought of the price of gas before, and I always used to take her to lunch since she was on a small fixed income.  Well, since my financial situation changed, I definitely cannot take her out to lunch anymore, and did relay this to her several months ago...  But,when I came over and did not propose a free lunch, things seemed different, alt… [more]
  • Friends Confessions

    I'm sick of a lot of my friends
     I'm beginning to really not like a lot of my friends.  I do not know how to deal with situations  in a assertive, healthy way.  My usual modus operandi is to put up with and endure, until I finally can't take it anymore and end up volcanically blowing up, much to my friends stupefied shock.  A lot of my friends take advantage of me.  I know you are all going to say:  "Well, it's because you let 'em..."  But I have gotten into it with each one of 'em for a variety of reasons, and have honestly conveyed to each one  what I would no longer be "willing to do" for them, and they seem to, for awhile, markedly improve.  But what invariably happens is when I see them making an effort to stop being … [more]
  • Learning to Live With Learning Disabilites...

    Posted on: May 3rd, 2012 at 2:35PM

    I was sick yesterday, and had no other option than to plant myself in front of the TV all day blowing my nose, drinking tea, feeling miserable...But not all was lost. I watched a documentary that with deadly accuracy defined what it means to have a learning disablity. I watched with intense interest what learning disabilites are all about, and how it really is a very injust mismoner to even call them that. They had a neurologist on showing brain imaging of an ostensible "normal brain" and that of an "afflicted one." In the former, almost all comprehension takes place in the parietal lobe. Then in the latter type of brain, it showed very little activity happening in the parietal lobe. To make… [more]

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  • Connecting in La Jolla

    Posted on: November 24th, 2013 at 4:44PM

    I’m walking in the Village of downtown La Jolla, down Gerard Avenue, when I come across Mary Star of the Sea Church.    This is my family’s church, a beautiful Catholic church constructed in the old Spanish adobe style. A sudden memory crosses my mind of the Sundays I spend here with my family.  I see soft wooden benches and white-washed walls. Exquisitely colored stained glass windows depict "Stations of the Cross.”  Lots of flowers and lit candles glow warmth and shimmering beauty.  I see my ma’s face, so happy to have her brood together with her now.  Church in our family is mandatory, no getting out of it, no way no how. The didactic sermons have little influence over me, what me, a lon… [more]

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