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Female , 18-21

ive gone through alot in my life and ive made more than my fair share of mistakes but i dont let my problems define me and i keep learning and becoming a better person.

Last Seen Aug 27
Member Since Jun 22, 2011
Favorite Quote
Heritage
  • a little Scandinavian
Vices
Politics
Horoscope Aries
Special day
Books Revolution, and Willow, second glance
Music Lady Gaga, Marilyn Manson, Marina and the Diamonds, Kylie Minogue, Alice Cooper, Cherri Bomb, Lana Del Rey
Movies Sweeney Todd, Harry Potter 5-7, Alice in wonderland, basically anything with Helena Bonham Carter, and a League of Their Own
Local Time September 21st, 7:28 AM

I Feel So Depressed And Broken

I hate this feeling. I got to see a few of my favorite people tonight and had an amazing talk with a woman who means the world to me. i should be happy but im so depressed and cant get out of it. and... [more]
monstertrainwreck has shared 3 Mature Experiences
  • I Am So Ugly

    I Hate Myself Today my mom announced she was taking me and my brother to the pool. So I made an excuse not to go but she forced me to go. I had to get into my bathingsuit. I hate my body. Looking at mySelf in the m… [more]
  • I Battle Depression

    It Creeps Up On Me it never leaves it lays lurking in the shadows waiting for me to give in. It Makes me angry and I crave the feel of metal on my skin I long for the sight of blood. I feel like a freak no matter how ha… [more]
  • I Have Crushes On Fictitious Characters

    Evil Women Are Always The Hottest My fictitious crushes are all evil women. Lol this list is my evil hot as hell crushes with one exception. The only crush I have on a not evil character is Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter. Here is al… [more]
  • I Might Be a Lesbian

    I'm Confused. Up until last year I always thought I like boys cuz that's what my mom had always told me was right. I had never hated lesbians and gays but my dad had left my mom for a guy so she had made him look l… [more]
  • Other Confessions

    Gave in.
    Up till tonight I hadn't cut in 3 weeks but I got in one of my crazy depressed moods and I couldn't stop crying and I hate crying it's so embarrasing even when it's just me and sadness hurts. It seems to affect all of me. It settles in my heart and I cant get it out unless I cut. Well there are other ways but they r slower and not as effective. I'm mad at myself but it did help me with my sadness and damn does the pain feel good.… [more]
  • Venting Confessions

    What is wrong with me?
    I accidently get hurt and all I can think about Is cutting. I want to feel my skin part and see the blood. I know thats creepy but that's what I feel I have gotten hurt twice in the past two days. I didn't do it on purpose but I've been doing more stuff now that might cause me pain. I used to be so careful but now I crave the pain and getting hurt. There must be soMething so wrong with me for feeling like this. Normal people don't crave pain or wish to get hurt. I'm scaring myself with these feelings.… [more]
  • Health Confessions

    I'm scared of the unknown.
    My eating disorder and self injury have gotten out of hand. ive gone from just merely cutting to burning myself badly. so i'm getting sent to Treatment and it scares me. i don't know what it will be like and i cant imagine my life without self injury and bulimia… [more]
  • my struggle

    Posted on: December 8th, 2012 at 1:55PM

    My Struggle   Writing sins of sorrow on my arms on my bodyOnly one tool needed to inflict painRelief for a few secondsBefore the feelings all rush backAnd drown me, dragging me underI look at my tool of relief and push it awayI don’t need you anymore I tell the razorBut my body betrays meAnd aches for the fell of cool metal on my skinNo you won’t winI don’t need youBut the urge leaves me shaking, cryingMy reserve of strength weakeningI search for a memory to push aside this terrible urgeBut it stands no chance and I give inAs I whisper this is the last timeI will give in to you. … [more]

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  • my monsters don't define me

    Posted on: December 8th, 2012 at 2:01PM

    My Monsters Don’t Define Me              Scars and bruises mark my body, telling of the battles and the monsters I have fought and am still fighting.  Some I have won the majority I have lost.  My scars and bruises tell of the monsters I have fought. The scars show the way I change. As they fade I become stronger and finally take control of myself. The power slowly changes hands. This weak little girl that cries all the time and gives into her urges is not who I am.            I am a strong woman that is learning to push the urges away and who has come to reclaim herself after three years. My hand  is  raised in triumph as I win the first of a series of many battles. Slowly I pick up the pie… [more]

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  • the hunger

    Posted on: December 8th, 2012 at 2:21PM

    the hunger consumes meeating away at me from the inside outuntil all that is left is a broken shell of a girlblood flows on the outside of my bodyribs as sharp as the edge of a razor as my skin clings to themmy mind is a fog that never wavers, distracting me from my thoughtsthoughts that buzz through my head so fast that i cant keep up, driving me crazymy body shakes from lack of food, from lack of bloodmy body roars in hunger but my mind ignores itonly one thing is importantmy weightthese monsters that are my anorexia and bulimia will not be apeased until all that is left of me is aquivering mass of skin and boneswhere a wreck of a girl will reside because her monsters like to mess with her… [more]

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  • My Darkness

    Posted on: December 15th, 2013 at 8:41PM

    Blood rains all around meMist as thick as oil fills my headWeighing me down as the darknessOvercomes me draining my energy and hopeUntil I can no longer recognize the person left behindI’m a shell of my former selfA woman who is consumed by the darknessThe darkness in me grows day by day quelling my light side… [more]

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