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Female , 18-21

Last Seen Jan 6, 2013
Member Since Sep 18, 2012
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  • 100% South African
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Local Time October 26th, 12:48 PM

I Battle Depression and Anxiety

A Failure In Life. I hit rock bottom a few weeks ago. I started cutting and was overwhelmed by thoughts of suicide. I was so afraid of myself, so I reached out for help. I still feel so bad. I'm a complete failure... [more]
poetrybelle has shared 2 Mature Experiences
  • I Was Sexually Abused As a Child

    My Secret Hell I can't remember when exactly it began, or when it stopped. But I remember feeling guilty, worthless, utterly disgusted with myself. I remember the lies, the manipulation, and feeling trapped. Now I k… [more]
  • I Battle Depression and Anxiety

    Darkness It's so difficult to explain how I feel. My psychologist asks so many pointless questions. After 2 weeks of crying, cutting and contemplating suicide I finally mustered up the courage to tell my mom I… [more]
  • Another wasted day

    Posted on: October 3rd, 2012 at 12:47AM

    Its the end of the year, I'm 2 weeks away from exams. I can't get myself motivated enough to finish my overdue assignments and attend classes. About a month ago I started taking anti depressants and seeing a psychologist. I somehow managed to finish my practical assessment, but now I feel unmotivated to do anything. I feel like everyone just expects me to be ok, to go to university, to go to church, to finish my exams. Its just too hard. I can't. My mom doesn't understand. I don't either. I'm lazy and worthless. I stay home when I know I should be going to class, and I watch tv, or just sit moping around in self pitty. Sure, I smile, and joke and act playful... But its all just front. I'm ju… [more]

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  • Stranger in my dreams...

    Posted on: October 13th, 2012 at 11:50PM

    Staring at the evening sky, wondering about you who haunts my dreams... Where is it that you find yourself tonight? Do you ever wonder about me too? Maybe, Perhaps too optimistic of me to dream, I never could separate fantasy from reality... I wonder if you're really out there, Or just my beautiful dream... If you are real, I wonder if your heart is as beautiful as your smile... I wonder if we sit at night, oceans away from one another staring at the open sky, wishing on stars to find love some day... Or if love is closer to us than we think, how many times our paths must have crossed, the thought alone makes my heart skip a beat... I wonder if you ever feel as alone as I do, if you ever jus… [more]

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  • Waiting...

    Posted on: October 14th, 2012 at 11:40PM

    Is it lonely where you are tonight? Do you find yourself in need of a friend? I wonder what you're thinking of right this moment, do you have someone in your bed tonight, or are you sleeping alone... When she's gone, does her scent linger on your pillow, do you whisper her name in the darkness, reaching out to her... Or are you waiting on something more? Do you feel like a fraud for holding onto her so tightly, when deep down inside, you know she's not the one... But this is not me judging you, this is me saying it's alright... "there's no room for judgement, I want you as yourself, because I belong with you and no one else," I'd never ask you though, to wait on fairytales... Everybody needs… [more]

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  • Tears

    Posted on: October 3rd, 2012 at 11:08PM

    I broke down at church last night. I cried for the first time in front of my parents. It was so hard. I don't know how to explain why I feel what I feel to them.… [more]

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