PreRaphaeliteEyes 18-21, F

It's not much of a confession, but it's insane and it's happening right now. So staring at my EP screen I figured I may as well exclaim in shock on here. I have not seen or heard a single word from my first boyfriend since high school. Not a word.And if everything isn't surreal enough lately tonight I just get a random inbox from him. So weird. He's asking me about my life and finally after many years of no closure I get to rub it in his face how well I'm doing and what an idiot he was for throwing me away. Ha.… [more]

The greatest sacrifice a person feels when they've been in a relationship for a while is that they don't feel attractive any more. At least that is how it is with me. When you know someone so incredibly well you can't see their face any more. I can't see his, and he doesn't really see mine either. All we are to each other is a lot of familiarity. When I'm in a good mood I'd probably ponder that it was a good thing, all we have now is a mental connection.But I want to feel attractive, admired, valued. He keeps saying I'm getting chubby and it hurts me. I remember a long time ago he found me so beautiful, at the very beginning how shy and awkward he was around me and how he would go on and on … [more]

My first day at university during O week. I was excited and full of pride. Domestic violence, poverty, I'd fought many battles to get there. I have fought many battles.It's been two years since I left high school, and I honestly had not considered seeing anyone from my past. The whole thing felt like something so new.It had to be that one girl out of thousands of other first years that I recognized, she who my first ever boyfriend left me for. He was a moron and it's unbelievable that even teenaged me gave him the time of day, but she is still an unpleasant person from my past to run into.He bragged and boasted that he'd 'upgraded' and she was so much better than me to his friends. It hurt e… [more]

I fail everything. Not because I'm stupid and my work isn't up to standards, if anything that would be better. A lack of knowledge can be easily fixed with study.Whatever is wrong with me is a much deeper problem. I'm clever, I always start things as the best student. I'm filled with passion and enthusiasm and I'm a clever person; I do outstandingly well at first. Teachers/lecturers describe me as an extremely bright young woman capable of becoming absolutely anything I wanted.But it dwindles. I never complete things. What is wrong with me? I'm not stupid, I'm perfectly capable of these things but I just don't do them. I find it heartbreaking. It's such a stupid thing to find heartbreaking b… [more]