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Female , 18-21

Last Seen Jun 17
Member Since Dec 16, 2012
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I Need to Feel Loved and Appreciated

Appreciation Is My Only Motivation I have been thinking about my lack of motivation for my studies, and a lot of areas in lifeā€¦ and I have found something disconcerting. The only thing... [more]
Quantumphysica has shared 5 Mature Experiences
  • I Am a Narcissist

    Malignant Narcissism... I have traveled from diagnosis to diagnosis... Being power-hungry, murderous, calculated... Lying for the hell of it, controlling others, manipulating because I just happened to be good at it...… [more]
  • I Am Not Against a Good Spanking

    Words Versus Wounds, Or Why I Am Pro Spanking I was never spanked as a kid. My parents were against corporal punishment. The worst I ever got was a slap in the face. I admit, it was hard, but very, very different from what CP and spanking entails… [more]
  • I Am Jealous

    I'm Jealous Of A Traumatized Girl In Protected Living I know this girl. She's a few years older than me, and she's been through some seriously painful things (rape, abuse, ED, bad medical treatment...), and these days she lives in some kind of "Protected… [more]
  • I Am A Pain Junkie

    Pain And Pleasure I love how it can make my mind all blurry, and at the same time clear up all my thoughts... I love how it rushes through my body and leaves me screaming, panting, grunting, as if every t… [more]
  • Family Confessions

    What Mother Told Me...
    "you don't have a mental disorder. You just have a problem with obeying rules and growing backbone, and that's not a disorder, that's simply how you were made. God knows I did everything to change you, but I couldn't."… [more]
  • Family Confessions

    Sometimes it almost feels okay again
    Sometimes it does. There are moments I talk with my mother and she is like a friend, a nice conversation partner. We can make jokes and laugh together and even go shopping together. It seems so trivial... But every time such a good moment occurs it feels like somewhere, someone is stretching a rubber band, the more pleasant behavior the further... and all rubber bands either spring back or break when stretched too far. Every good moment I'm preparing for the fallout, the rubber band springing back and bruising my hand. And when the fallout happens... Then she speaks the truth to me. Her truth. How she honestly sees me. A useless, spineless organism no one has any need for, a disgusting creat… [more]
  • Family Confessions

    What my mother tells me...
    "No one has need for a person like you. You are useless. You are the rock that drags me down. You are the most selfish creature ever. I am disgusted by your spinelessness. You only take, never give. You make me sick."… [more]
  • Embarrassing Confessions

    I don't want to be alone right now
    I feel like nothing can help me, and still it would help not to be alone. I am never alone, never ever ever, my head is always full of noise, but it's different. I crave for someone to hold me and care for me. I don't want to think anymore. Thinking hurts too much. I don't want to be responsible anymore. I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. I need someone. I just don't want to be alone right now. … [more]