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Male , 41-45

Last Seen Nov 30, 2014
Member Since Nov 05, 2011
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Heritage
  • a little Thai
Vices Cheater & Beaters. My cat jumping on my keyboard when I am trying to type
Politics
Horoscope Virgo
Special day
Books Too many to mention
Music All
Movies too many on this one too...maybe later
Local Time May 27th, 6:09 AM

I Have a Confession

Yep, still lost.  I thought things would be well by now.  I was wrong.  I am alot better than where I was a couple a months ago, but I still feel like there is a void in my soul.   I am not sure... [more]
  • I Love the Beach

    My Bliss I love the beach. I have, ever since I was a kid growing up in central Germany. Its funny becuase back then I was a beach bum and there was no beach around. Now I live right next to the… [more]
  • I Am a Romantic

    My First Date....ok...not Really A Date...and Not Really My First, But It Is Close. Confession 11/14/11Today was really cool.  I spent the day at the park riding my bike and running like a madman.   I was sweat and smelled like a nasty sock.   This woman comes up and… [more]
  • I Love the Beach

    Beach And Rain I just got back from the beach. It is raining outside. Three of my favorite things combined to make a perfect night for me. The night, rain and the beach. Tonight when I got off, I was … [more]
  • I Am Looking For My Soulmate

    My Soulmate? I would love to find my soul mate. I thought I had found her but I was horribly wrong. Soul mates do not treat one another the way she treats me, but that is another story. I do feel in my he… [more]
  • Toxic people are draining

    Posted on: November 18th, 2011 at 8:36AM

    I woke up this morning at 5.  Tired and wore out.   I have tons of homework to do and all I can do is walk around the house in circles because I cannot focus. It is unfortunate.  She still gets to me and knows how to push my buttons.   I feel that It is ridiculious that I still feel this way becuase we broke up back in the begining of September.   I think I would feel different if I had someone with me now, but I know that would only be a band aid for the pain I feel and that the next person would have to deal with my baggage making me Toxic to her. Before all this, I have never heard the term "toxic person".   Now, I hear it all the time and actually think about it.  What I have learned ab… [more]

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  • Thinking of why I am alone 01/14/2012

    Posted on: January 14th, 2012 at 9:03PM

     01/14/2012Being alone and not having anyone to lean on when you need someone is a bad place to be.  At least it is for me.  I do not mind being alone sometimes, but being alone all the time is mind numbing. I have made some friends online at EP and FB, but online friends are not a substitute for the human factor.  It’s just nice to be able to walk and talk with someone.  To be able to see their reaction when you say something to them.  I do laugh and have a good time chatting with friends online, but again.  It is not the same thing.I would love to be able to call someone and say, let’s go to the beach or go out and do something.  It would be nice to have someone come over just to hang out.… [more]

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  • 11/30/11 Journey Entry

    Posted on: November 30th, 2011 at 7:20AM

    Things have been moving really quick, too quick.   I went from being depressed and a self imposed exile from everyone to getting involved with a running conventions, working with nonprofit organizations and actually meeting people I can potentially date.Work has still been tough.   I am trying to figure out if I am just being paranoid or if I really am being railroaded.   All the signs are there that they will be giving me my walking papers.   I have seen them get rid of people before and their actions lead me to believe that I am next.  I still go in and do my work.  I also still go in on my days off to help the people who work for me, without t getting paid.   I will not go in to help her … [more]

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  • My bad place

    Posted on: November 17th, 2011 at 6:50PM

    I was fine last weekend.  I felt like things were getting better for me.  Yesterday, I find out that I am training my replacement this weekend and that I may be losing my job.   I feel like I have been hit with a ton of bricks.  I have never had regrets because I have always felt that you can learn something from any event.I now have my frist regret.   Although I still love her, I regret the day that I ever met her.Each day she finds someway to tear me down...then later laughs at it.   I do not like this place I am at now.   I thought this was over last month.   But it is not.I did not know that women could be so vengful and hurtful.  i know not all women are like that, but honestly, at this… [more]

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