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Female , 56-60

I am the result of my past but not limited to it. I have a vision of being happy and achieving it. I have been told I am worthless and a waste, but I do not believe it, I know better. This life will have hills and valleys, and I will glean all the good I can out of it , and be better each day for it.

Last Seen 1 day ago
Member Since Mar 18, 2012
Favorite Quote
Heritage
  • a little Scottish
Vices Kombucha, Music
Politics Liberal
Horoscope Libra
Special day 9-25
Books No local writers
Music
Movies
Local Time December 18th, 11:15 PM

I Am a Survivor

Too many things have gone on in my life to recount. Some brought on by my own wrong decisions but I am still here. Losing my cousin a few weeks ago has been almost the breaking point. I cannot get my... [more]
rowenbumble has shared 3 Mature Experiences
  • I Do Crazy Things When I Take Ambien

    The In-between Time Disregard anything I may journal here if done between midnight and 6am...!!!! Whacky things have gone on, been done and said....and with no memory of them in the morning. But apparently yo… [more]
  • I Miss My Brother Who Passed Away

    5 Months And Ticking The number 21 is not a favorite number of mine anymore, as is the number 2. I lost the 2 people closest in my life on those numbers. My mother, many many years ago, but my brother only 5 months ago.… [more]
  • I Think People Forget the Beauty In Everyday Life

    Open Your Eyes People should be aware and grateful every morning, for just waking up. Then they should be aware of the air, the light, and comforting feel of where they live. Be happy the trees are there carrying th… [more]
  • I Am a Spiritual Being Having a Human Experience

    Always Different I have always been different...by my own distinction and doing or by others response. I have never truly known why, but the world as it is has never much fit to who I am inside. I have chosen to do o… [more]
  • My Life

    Posted on: May 14th, 2012 at 9:42AM

    Another Mother's Day has come and gone...the 32nd one from my mother dying 3 days before I was to celebrate my first one as a mother....Kind of put the brakes on it being a happy day for me for a long time. Until my own children told me I wasn't allowing them to make my day happy..That was never my intent, so I try to enjoy it for them...but the dark scar still lays deep. I wished so many times I would have had a mother's advise or input...even a place to go to think. But life took that safe harbor away just as I was starting out . I was on my own...trying to learn and do on the fly...not a good way to deal with life. I had a father that threw me away when I was 4...the only girl out of 4 ki… [more]

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  • The Secret

    Posted on: January 28th, 2013 at 4:47PM

    To act on impulse, not look back...leading you into familiar territory, yet still unknown. A new found connection, one to just enjoy, but if others knew, oh what hell there would be to pay on both sides. A secret no one would have imagined, or many would want yet there it is....literally lying in wait.… [more]

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  • The Past Fades

    Posted on: April 10th, 2014 at 11:43PM

    I have lived a fairly long life, and have made many, many mistakes. But where I am now is a place I really never saw myself being, but I love it. I had to let someone have most of what we had achieved, that was of a monetary value,...gave most all of it to him so I could leave. I have possesions that are of sentimental worth, but the house, business, cars, furniture, etc...all were given to him & his mother.  Decades were spent by both of us, trying to find some sort of "good" life.  I don't think either one of us was really happy, at least I know I wasn't. I tried though, to tell myself it was good, tried to really believe it, but it wasn't real. That's ok though now. I don't remember much … [more]

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  • Death, Death, and more Death

    Posted on: November 9th, 2014 at 9:25AM

    Death has come to visit me again. It has been a constant companion of mine since I was 5. It seems to remember to visit me every 2 years since then. Now at this age in my late 50's I have barely anyone left in my close family, I  make no friends anymore, because Death never wants to share me very long with them.Silly enough the other day I mentioned how my only brother had died 2 years ago, and how much I miss him.....the statement "2 years ago" never rang loud in my head, or set a red light off...I just didn't realize what I had said, until last night, when I was told that my cousin, the one I was raised with because we were the 2 youngest in the family, had died in her sleep, Nov 7/8. She … [more]

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