When I was born until this month I have been told that I am a male and I believed that for a very long time. But I have known for a long time that I was different but didn't know how or why. I have a lot more female qualities then I do a natural male. I am more feminine than not. Recently I had an inner struggle to who I was or was not. Meaning that but I noticed that I am a female that is trapped inside a man's body. But at the same time I am attracted to females. Which is the most painful realization that not only I am a female but a lesbian. But all who know me and met me in person see me as a male. I have a very low self esteem and so if I were to tell anyone about how I feel like me being a lesbian my self esteem would drop so much more. So that is the reason why I have decided to live both genders. I also wouldn't have to come out, go through therapy, and go through basically 2 years of surgery to make me feel more like I am and I could basically keep this "underground" and remain safe so I wouldn't become another Chrissy Lee Polis and get beat up for being who I feel I am in the inside and lose my friends and family. If I were to transition my parents whom I love and respect would totally cut off all communication and disown me. I feel it isn't their fault that they wouldn't understand they are from a totally different generation that doesn't understand or grew up with the term transgendered and plus they are old fashioned, extremely conservative and Christian. I too am a Christian which makes it even harder for me to come to terms that I am transgendered. But recently I told a friend of mine about me being a lesbian and she has excepted it and is helping me deal with it. It also helps that she too is a lesbian and she told me that she thinks she is a male.
- a little German
- and a little Irish
- and a little French
Dressing So Girly While Exploring My More Feminine Side As of right now I own 3 dresses, a skirt, a feminine top, and 5 pairs of high heels and plus a purse.… [more]
Update On Sara Ashley Well I know that I had said that I was planning on transitioning using the alternative way but a friend of mine here told me that it would only work for awhile but eventually I would be back to severe… [more]
I Enjoy Wearing Skirts I recently started wearing clothes that were deemed for women only. I love the feel of a skirt when I am walking around in my apartment. I feel the girl in me getting to come out when doing so. When I… [more]
Sara Ashley Is Coming In The Near Future...:) Like I have said in my other stories I have always felt that deep down I am a girl that is very girly who also loves girls as well...Anyways I have decided that I am going to transition to a female wi… [more]