sillyginger 22-25, F

I hate feeling this way. I hate the person I am. Part of me hates my parents because I blame them for the problems I have. Growing up as a child and watching my parents fight constantly, my dad beat the **** out of my mom on almost a daily basis. One day when I was about 5 or 6 he slammed her on the ground and started choking her, I remember feeling so afraid and contemplating on grabbing a butcher knife and stabbing him because I thought he was going to choke my mother to death. I hate my uncle and wish he would have died with the first stroke he had, he molested me on and off for a few years when I was in elementary school. I also blame him for the mental problems I have. I'm angry at my … [more]

I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of feeling empty inside. I'm tired of feeling worthless. I'm tired of feeling stuck. I'm tired of feeling crazy. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of dreaming of a life I will never have. I'm tired of missing things. I'm tired of missing people. I'm tired of remembering. I'm tired of wishing I could start all over. I'm tired of not being able to just let go. I'm tired of faking it. I'm tired of being different. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of needing help. I'm tired of always wondering when I will finally be happy. Most of all, I'm just I'm tired of being tired… [more]

today is my ex's birthday. first birthday in the past 4 years we won't be celebrating together. it's not even noon yet and i'm already crying my eyes out. i wish we could have worked out problems out. i wish that i never responded to him when he wrote me on facebook 3 weeks ago. i knew we could never work out in a relationship if we got back together yet i let him come over and we acted just like we were together again. i knew i was just torturing myself... … [more]

It's been seven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away I go out every night and sleep all day since you took your love away since you've been gone I can do whatever I want I can see whomever I choose I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant but nothing I said nothing can take away these blues, 'cause nothing compares nothing compares to you It's been so lonely without you here like a bird without a song nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling tell me baby where did I go wrong? I could put my arms round every boy I see but they'd only remind me of you I went to the doctor guess what he told me guess what he told me he said girl you better try to have fun no matter w… [more]