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Female , 36-40

"All day I think about it, then at night I say it. Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing? I have no idea. My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there." ~Rumi

Last Seen Jun 3, 2013
Member Since Sep 21, 2008
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Heritage
  • 100% American
  • and 100% Polish
Vices
Politics
Horoscope Virgo
Special day
Books Healing Through Love, The Celestine Prophecy, A New Earth, Motherless Daughters, the dictionary
Music 80s-90s Rap & R&B; Prince, Cure, Radiohead, JeffBuckley, TheBeatles, PeterGabriel, AmyWinehouse, Sinhead, MarconiUnion, DeadCanDance, RedHousePainters, U2, JohnMayer, FionaApple, ArcadeFire +ATonMore
Movies What Dreams May Come, Men Don't Leave, Stranger than Fiction, Groundhog Day, The Bourne Identity, Amadeus, Lady Sings the Blues, Rear Window, Slacker, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, The Shift, Bottle Rocket
Local Time September 17th, 6:06 AM

I Want People to Accept Me For Me

Me but how can they, when i don't? [more]
soulshadow has shared 29 Mature Experiences
  • I Want to Know Why I Always Attract the Crazy People

    So Tired Of These Nutjobs Friends, boyfriends, bosses. I'm at a point where I know MY THINKING; my Vibes are attracting this B.S. I am DONE. It is now declared. yes. so, there.… [more]
  • I Am a Motherless Daughter

    Missing Her Today and Always...     I'm in my early 30's. Mom died when I was 17. I saw it happen. We were in Disneyworld and she had a heart attack. I can see it all so clearly still. So many details...… [more]
  • I Use the Word "I" Too Much

    I Am I Do I Have I Want I See How funny...I think about this a lot. I am always starting sentences with "I" and it makes me feel conceited.  Like Yoda, perhaps we should write. I could have said "Perhaps we shoul… [more]
  • I Need to Get Over Him

    So Many Years i am so blank. you spend 7 1/2 years with someone. you go through a lot of bs and then you start to feel it. you know he's slipping away. you're not exactly happy either, but there is so mu… [more]
  • Venting Confessions

    Freaking Emotional Breakdowns
    Sometimes I HATE being a woman...being a human. I allow so much to bother me. I have so much guilt. I read inspirational books and "get" what they're saying, but it's like I have this brick wall around me built by some evil force and it won't allow me to like myself or forgive or stay on the route of positivity...Like, the Law of Attraction. I totally get it....but I don't....because this is how I am. NEGATIVE, trying so F'ing hard to be positive. I guess Tori Amos already summed it up, "got enough guilt to start my own religion". I am beginning to think that anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds just make everything worse. Bad day, can ya tell?! F'ing self-pity. So stupid. There I go … [more]
  • Health Confessions

    The joys of mental health medications.
    Adderall was added to my cocktail of Prozac (40mg) and Xanax (about 2mg a day). I can FEEL my blood pressure rising and it is high (was before the adderall). I am concerned. I could NOT get addicted to adderall. I would have a heart attack if I took any more. Oh, the dosage is 15mg twice a day for motivation/fatigue and focus. I also have some OC tendencies (picking, shaking, trouble concentrating - which is redundant as that IS lack of focus) and probably do have some ADD anyway. I think we all do to a degree. Anyhow. I don't want any responses like "OMG You shouldn't take all that". This was all prescribed to me by one psychiatrist and if I die then I guess my family can sue the doctor. h… [more]
  • A storm's a coming!

    Posted on: July 27th, 2012 at 5:56PM

    I thinkI mean, literally, outside.lol… [more]

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  • Another day

    Posted on: September 21st, 2008 at 5:19PM

    Had one day off this week. That's today. I am feeling the effects if work. The emotional seeping into the physical as all I do is sit, but it still wears on me. I know I have a lot to offer...something, somewhere. Will a job ever be fulfilling? Will a job ever seem just and fair? I work too hard. Then more is expected of me. I bring it on myself, I know.My mood: somewhat groggyMy health: not great… [more]

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