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I WAS On Day 7i relapsed on my 7th day of being sober off meth. it was a mistake i know, but i just couldn't help myself. my mind is scattered from it now. i'm not thinking clearly and leaving things behind. only a… [more]
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I Want It Backi'm going to get a big sack of tweak for myself to use. i'm sober and have ben for a little bit but i don't know what i'm doing anymore. getting this sack makes me feel like i know what i'm doing for … [more]
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I'm suicidalI think I might be depressed. I'm always tired or at least would just rather be sleeping than be awake. It he's pass the time and I've got nothing better to do with my time. I don't know what I should do. I am on a bunch of medications and depression is one of the reasons I'm on them. I won't be put on more but I'm not sure what to do. I'm not even sure that I'm depressed I just think i am. If anything my meds would be upped but I don't really want that either, maybe I do want to just opt out of life, it sure would make it easy.maybe that's my confession, that I'm suicidal. Maybe I am, sure I Am. If it weren't for my mom I would be dead by now. Once she dies I can finally kill myself. What … [more]
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Suicidei don't like living. i'm on six different medications just to be able to think like a normal person does(diagnosed schizoaffective, ocd, insomnia, bipolar, and borderline disorder). i'm only living because my mom is still alive too. i have a cyst in my head on my pituitary gland right under my brain and i wish it was a cancerous tumor or that it would at least burst. i laugh at the face of death. i egg him on right now. the smile you see on my face is a cynical smile. i'm happy sure, but i'm happy because i'm not worrying about anything. i haven't even called back my doctor about the cyst to see where i go from here. i don't care what we do, i would rather we just drop it. i don't want to li… [more]
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i'm quitting Methi don't know how long it will last but i'm going to sure as hell try. it's because of a guy i've decided to quit. which isn't smart, quitting for someone else besides myself, but i do want to quit for myself, it's been too long now. problem is i have a little left and i have it away away i'm just not sure how long i can resist. a part of me can't bring myself to getting rid of it. like it has value to it. i don't know, that's just the addict of me talking.… [more]
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Stealing To Support My Habbiti've stollen three expensive watches, a brick ipod, three cellphones, 20$, gold jewelry, two cameras, and four wallets. all of this i stole from my mom, dad, and older sister. i did it all so i could buy more meth. i feel bad but at the same time i just don't care.… [more]
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Say A Prayer For The Things You DO Have.
i saw a nice person do a good deed. a homeless lady was sitting outside our store on the subway tables with all her stuff. a man passed by but stopped and asked if she wanted a sandwich, of course she says yes and he goes to buy her a sandwich leaving her where she is. he comes back with a sandwich AND a 10$ gift card for subway too. after he brought her the food(he had gotten something too), he said a prayer before they eat and they both eat their sandwiches together. when he left he said he would talk to security to make sure they don't bother her(there are a lot of loud homeless but she is by far the quietist) or tell her to leave. i don't know what happened to her or the guy but they bo… [more]
Comments: 0 Views: 78 Flag
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???
my first blog entry, i guess this will be interesting. i'm working right now, shouldn't be but the other girl is on break right now so i can get away with it. i wasn't feeling great this morning, and the day just seems to drag on. i don't even know what i'm doing right now.… [more]
Comments: 0 Views: 82 Flag
