talyn 18-21, F

since i was a child, so many problems had passed in my entire life.. father left us, my sisters and brother are everywhere and i don't know who are they, and where they are... sometimes i ask do God really knows me and see me how hard i am facing now... does He really loves me? some says yes but how? i can't feel it..definitely not! i am the only daughter whom with my mother for all those years she cried and laugh..who cared for me when i was in the hospital and dying...and asking myself do God really wants me to feel this way?? and look,my mother.... she died! now another question is in my mind why God let my mother gone... who will care for me?..who will protect me? how about our dreams??.… [more]

i know  i am... and even me can say to myself i am fool because of my ex boyfriend whom i always see... everyday , looks like a curse to me.. that i did love him so much but he refuse it ... like a trash.. i suppose to hate him but instead of anger i still felt the love whenever i see him.. i talk with him and when he walks near me..i still feel the fast  beat of my heart .. fool right ..but its okay.. because of that  love i feel until now ,some crazy things i can do.. i am more vocal.. more humor more sociable..being curious of what ifs and many friends made me see those questions answered.... curiosity never brings me down but the love always made me fool... how lucky am i to feel this.. … [more]

After all the struggles i have this past few years.. i wonder how i overcome all of this hindrance happened in me..but i suddenly realize one reason...it is because there is God .. my saviour, my ruler , my father, and my KING...i loved to be HIS servant but as an ordinary human i always done something bad for HIM..i want to be with him as always.. but because of my crazy love to a man ..i suddenly lose my strength... i lose hope..  i lose my dignity.. i lose my faith.. but why i was still feel the love for the man whose not deserving for my love.. who hurt me the most.. who made me a LOSER,, instead to be anger to him and curse that guy... i punish myself.. fool me.. damn me... now i need t… [more]

well, after those long days and nights trying to move on from my last relationship here i am again ready to love and to be hurt.. at first its just a happy go lucky trip.. to court a man? haha yeah! right.. but its not definitely like that ..i told him that i like him and some of our co-workers knows about this cause i keep on telling them that i like that man and he is special for me..and i swear my feelings was right.... some of his friends tells me that he likes me too.. but i want to heard those words from him.. but everytime i look at him he cant look me back.. but some of his friends were really smiling at me without any reason.. it may be a selfish thing to think that maybe hes inlove… [more]