Female , 22-25

Last Seen 3 days ago
Member Since Dec 09, 2011
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Local Time May 24th, 5:00 PM

I Cut My Self

It's not even me that I don't cut for anymore, it's my family and friends. I don't want them to have to deal with it. They don't stop me from wanting to do it though. Especially when I feel that... [more]
  • I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

    My Final Ep Story Well everyone, I found what I was looking for. I didn’t even realize I was looking for anything, or that it would take so damn long to find. But I found it. Peace. I’m finally at pea… [more]
  • I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

    Nightmare That's what my life feels like right now, a nightmare. Ever since I realized I have BPD, my mood swings and emotions seem to be at an ultimate high. Or low, I should say. Every time I see a guy and st… [more]
  • I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

    Stupid Bpd Fight...this Kind Of Stuff Makes Me Hopeless I got in this random fight with my mom today. I just moved out, and she was giving me this entertainment center from her friend's parents or something (I already have an entertainment center, but this… [more]
  • I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

    Unreachable I want to be a mother more than anything in the world. I've known this since I was 15 years old. Right now I'm a very proud auntie of four insanely beautiful, crazy little nieces that I love more than… [more]
  • To everyone who reads this blog....

    Posted on: December 20th, 2011 at 1:08AM

    You are reading the blog of a borderline. Just so you're aware. I started blogging because not than many people in the "I Have Borderline Personality Disorder" group had many blogs...well, as far as I know anyway. I really wanted to see the day-to-day experiences/randomass thoughts of someone else with BPD, but I couldn't find any. So I write my own. And maybe there's someone else out there who wants to see the randomass daily thoughts of a borderline too, they are. Also, blogging helps me remember my life (duh).  It seems like my emotions change so frequently that like...I don't know, I'll be happy about something and then get mad about something so I'll completely forget or cha… [more]


  • Using BPD to my Advantage

    Posted on: January 18th, 2012 at 1:29AM

    It is now nearly one o'clock in the morning, and I have spent the past three hours either having imaginary conversations in my head with my history professor or reading things he's written online. Because that isn't psychotic or pathetic at all.Earlier, I was thinking of writing a blog bitching about how much it sucks that I have so much admiration for him, and that I've put so much time and heart into loving him and he will never have any idea, and therefore we (I) will never have a chance.Then I was like okay, **** that. He may be a professor, and he may be smart and talented and well-traveled and amazing, but he is still just a guy. And guys have weaknesses.So **** this poor me, angsty te… [more]


  • Psyche Center Appointment

    Posted on: January 11th, 2012 at 7:31PM

    That was two days ago already. Honestly, I ******* hated it. Here's pretty much how the first conversation went:Dr: So who referred you here?Me: My doctor.Dr: Why?Me: ...I asked her to refer me to a psychologist.Dr: I'm a psychiatrist, but we do have psychologists available.Me: That's okay, I'm sure...either would be fine?Dr: Why did you want to see a psychologist?Me: Uhh...Dr: Was there a problem you've been having?Me: Well I.....was researching anxiety and I came across Borderline Personality Disorder and it...pretty much described my life to a T.Dr: How?Me: Uhh...I can't answer questions like that!!!!!! I could look at a list of symptoms and give several examples from my life that are exa… [more]


  • Hiding

    Posted on: December 11th, 2011 at 12:42PM

    I still live with my parents (but I'm moving out in 11 days), and today we're doing the whole Christmas cookie thing. It's almost 1 in the afternoon but I'm still in bed with that exhausted, empty feeling. I fell asleep at 4 last night and woke up 2 more times in the middle of the night. I don't want to get up and pretend I'm all happy because I'm way too damn tired. I keep rolling my eyes, thinking about how I have to get up and pretend soon. I know the longer I hide out in my room the more annoying comments I'll get..."You're JUST getting out of bed NOW??? Must be nice!" I'd love to just get up and be normal...but something is holding me back. I know it's BPD now, but I still feel like it'… [more]