Female , 51-55

When I see myself with out a mirror- I can be very beautiful, graceful, desirable, sexy, social, kindhearted, gentle, caring and so much more... 'Till I look into the mirror!
When I slide into my dark slippery hole- I become nothingness, lonely, unlovable, abnormally ugly, black sheep, evil, self-centered, loathing myself and cutting off anything hopeful to slide my way- I am alone. isolated. forgotten. damaged. avoided. Only my little dog stays with me, hers is a true love. my best friend.

Last Seen Jan 20, 2013
Member Since Mar 30, 2010
Favorite Quote
Special day 4-12
Local Time May 27th, 9:29 AM

I Need All The Answers I Can Find-curious And Fun

I Am Absorbing It All! I Love To Get Answers To My Questions. I was just exploring this site, and soaking up some of the info. I began my first ever blog here, have shared secrets, placed my family skeletons in view for all to see, asked some questions, answered... [more]
TheLadySyn has shared 38 Mature Experiences
  • I Will Be Myself,and Not What Others Want Me to Be

    A Carpet Person I have never been able to stand up and be me! I have always been bend, swayed, forced into acquiescence. I have seldom had opportunity to resolve anything, to find my true thoughts and/or feelings on … [more]
  • I Have a Confession

    My grand daughter falsely accused her step-father of abuse. The Child protection is involved- she is staying with me- not allowed to be with other family. Step-dad was forced out of his home and life-… [more]
  • 13 Yr old sociopath?

    Posted on: December 28th, 2010 at 9:40PM

    My Granddaughter has had a birthday since I shared the story of her tragic accusations against her stepfather. It has been only 2 and 1/2 months since she lied herself out of her home and family. She now lives with me, a very mundane, quiet home, so different from life with 3 sisters! She thinks she wants to go home, yet doesn't want step dad or next oldest sister to live there. Mostly she wants to be with her mom and 4yr old sister only! That's not gonna happen! She seems to be really trying to get things right with her family- they seem to be unaccepting of her attempts to appologise. She can't please them, she is only a child! She is allowed to make mistakes. I believe she should be at ho… [more]


  • KidKat's Journey through the eyes of her Gramma

    Posted on: November 3rd, 2010 at 1:13AM

    Two weeks now since the Incident. KidKat is still sleeping at my side, I love it! I'm not sure I should, my counsessor says Katlin does seem to be having a good effect on me. It is not really good, as this childish prank has torn my family apart. KidKat is here with me, step dad had been kicked out of his home and denied his children, but is back home now. Mom is not able to forgive yet, finding the current living arrangements comfortable enuf, she may never welcome Kid back home! Sister, Allie, has spoken very little of Kid, mostly that Kid had been abusing her and life is so much better now, two littlest sisters just go on each day as if nothing is changed. I am giving all I can to my lost… [more]


  • Lava life.

    Posted on: October 14th, 2010 at 5:36AM

    We met on Lava life. We hit it off well, and began living together in three months. We said, this is not our first time, we are old enough(40's) why waste time, all was rosy. He showed me the town and theater- I showed him the earths beauty and I thought he was a man of means- turned out he made less than me, had bills over his head, and choose to live well today- let tomorrow care for itself. I should have known then. But he was classy, well traveled and spoken, in the style of life I'd always hoped to achieve, good company- mostly a great bed partner, (I had been untouched for years in my previous marriage) I didn't want to leave this yet. I thought, being in my 40's meant I had to get som… [more]


  • response to what is normal?

    Posted on: November 2nd, 2010 at 8:41PM

    Posted by TheLadySyn Oct 15th, 2010 at 1:09AM I have been blessed with a life time of emotional diagnosis... did long term time in the nut department of my local hospital... I say the most contributing factor has been- nurture= environment! Or- maybe it's been my inability to accept my environment and adapt to it- making the factor nature... Nature- nurture. All around me- inside of me. The bottom line is I am clinically emotionally unstable, depressed and suffer anxiety, and more- making me miserable, even on my better days, and it really doesn't matter why! [ Delete ] | Rating (2) … [more]