Male , 51-55

Intoxicated with the madness, I'm in love with my sadness.

Last Seen Nov 10, 2013
Member Since Apr 08, 2011
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Local Time May 22nd, 2:08 PM

I Wtk Your Song Of The Day And Why

"bodysnatchers"by Radiohead I do not Understand What it is I’ve done wrong Full of holes Check for pulse blink your eyes One for yes Two for no I have no... [more]
XendlessXurbia has shared 1 Mature Experience
  • I Fight Depression and Loneliness Everyday

    Look Inside And See The Vacumn          Another day winds on down. I think its Tuesday. Or is it Thursday or Monday? Is it AM or PM? Is it June or January? My calendar is the blank wall I stare at. My face is … [more]
  • I Fight Depression and Loneliness Everyday

    Dying Slowly With The Utmost Sincerity   I saw it coming a long time ago. There's no more hiding. No more facades. The highway ends. I am now on a dirt road, deeply rutted with all my past failures. No one else is to blame. I… [more]
  • I Fight Depression and Loneliness Everyday

    Me For A Moment Another anonymous day has passed by. I talk to no one. No one talks to me. I am of no consequence. I make no impact.I am a nobody. . I’m tired of everyone’s pointless point of view.… [more]
  • I Fight Depression and Loneliness Everyday

    Enjoying Insomia Yes insomnia can be enjoyed. I know that sounds like a off the wall statement. For most of my life I have had sleep difficulties. A sounds night sleep has always been a luxury to me. What come… [more]
  • Lost in Finnigans Wake:Part 1

    Posted on: April 11th, 2011 at 7:34PM

    It seems I’m stuck here. Wheres here? Why reality of course. It’s a prison with no security. It’s a zoo where all the animals are out of their cages. Animals with fangs and claws. Not to mention a hideous assortment of parasites. What a world,what a world. Can’t wait to leave it. Its never been good to me. I’ve tried to be nice. I’ve tried to “fit in”,whatever that means.Fit in to what? Guess jeans? What? You asking me? Do me a favor.Don’t ask me anything.Don’t ask and I won’t tell. I do have some things to tell. Of course no one wants to listen. That’s because I tell it like it is. No happy endings here. No sad endings either. Theres no end in sight. I want to jump off the Great Pyamid. I … [more]


  • But Wait Theres More! (Too Much)

    Posted on: April 11th, 2011 at 8:21PM

    Its all a big nothing. Of late that nothing is swallowing me whole. There is no escape. I’m in a prison. Nothing to lose and nothing to prove. I’ve said it all before. It all comes out in the wash. Wash Jones? That’s another story. What’s my story? Why its long, boring and sad. There is no rising action. There is a lot of staring at the walls. The plot is weak and uninspired. No one is reading anyway. No one ever has. Just a tedious depressing blog to myself. Of course I find most of reality to be tedious and depressing. Always have. That’s why I’ve always tried to avoid it or escape from it. I’ve been pretty successful at it. I should teach a course.” Avoiding the World 101”. Then there wo… [more]


  • This Chaos is Killing Me

    Posted on: April 12th, 2012 at 7:44PM

    Out of my mind into yours. Out on a plain. Rolling down the incline plane. I let the momentum take me into dark alleys and unknown pathways. All these stupid secrets. Be careful who you tell them to. I hear the echoes of the meteors. Its all under control. Let those dice roll. Tumbling ,fumbling.Rolling,stumbling.I’m lost at sea. Don’t bother me. I lost my way a long time ago. Over sideways down. There is no escape. Time crushes me from all sides. Squeezing me into a shapeless mass. Its all a downward spiral from here on in. I’m sinking with the sand in the hourglass. In the abyss I am trapped. No escaping this time. I have nowhere to escape. Deeper into myself I go. I’m going around and ar… [more]


  • Mindess Sheep

    Posted on: April 20th, 2011 at 7:57PM

                        That’s what the vast majority of the human race seems to like to me anymore. This not to say that I think of myself as any kind of superior human being. I’m anything but. I well know my limitations. It just amazes me that so many people do the same things over and over again. Take music for instance So many my age listen to same so called classic rock over and over again. There are times when I wax nostalgic but how many times can one hear Led Zeppelin or Fleetwood Mac etc. Of course it was some great music then but there’s great music now. Times I play something different I gotten flak for it. I remember one person who actually tried to change the station. He didn’t lik… [more]