Tim: This is a severe case of "compassion fatigue." Compassion fatigue is a term used to refer to the emotional fatigue and depression common in vocations where you help others with problems. Therapists, doctors, nurses, pastors, and teachers in low-income areas -- just to name a few -- all suffer from this when the volume or intensity of work is too great. Your response is both normal and common. The key? Recognize that you can't care for others if you don't care for yourself. It all starts with you. Therefore, when there are questions of "me or them?", the very unselfish answer is: me.

Tim: This is a common issue among mothers. The first step is striving for "prioritizing" instead of "balancing" the various roles you've assumed you must play. One fulfilled and uber-productive CEO orders his roles as follows: 1) husband, 2) father, 3) executive. Thus, if his wife wants to do one thing and his children ask for another, he'll side with his wife, his partner. If a business deal conflicts with time with his children, he'll reschedule or cancel the business deal. In your case, the list might look like this: wife, mother, lover, cook, counselor, maid, playmate. Putting them in a clear order allows you to make clear decisions about what comes first, instead of feeling as though everything is vying for your time all the time. Once you establish these rules, it creates breathing room for creating a life -- and interactions -- outside of the home. Forget "stay-at-home" mom, and embrace "full-time" mom -- just because you have a child doesn't mean you need to live 24/7 in a 20 x 10-foot living room. Step into the world and invite others to contribute to your life.

Tim: See the above answer on diminishing returns. Define what you're trying to achieve in writing, then batch the common tasks (do laundry and bills at a set time each week or every few days, rather than when you feel like it, for example) to create time to do the minimal amount to achieve your pre-set goals. I think that once you take some of the time pressure off, you can begin to get the positive out of your kids and other personal activities that are now overwhelming you.

Tim: This is common. Recognize that to get an A- might take 50% as much time as studying enough to get an A+. There is a huge point of diminishing returns. A simple step to save time is to ask your professors a few days before exams: "I'm obviously going to review everything, but what would you recommend I focus on in particular?" They'll generally tell you exactly what you need to study. This is one of the tricks I used to get near straight As at Princeton while still spending most of my time on personal interests.

Tim: In this particular case, I see the simple solution as first, a change of environment, where you work in a music store or combine your hobbies with work, and then, either finding a job that rewards performance vs. presence, whether commissions in a guitar shop or other, or developing a cash-flow source from your hobbies once you develop them.