I know it's crap, but my girlfriend did it, so....

"Yeah, um, very nice, mate, but do you reckon you could show me your....oh! THAT'S your painting? Oh, right. I thought it was your....um....let's not go there.

Yes, I'm a real-life starving artist.  Can't you see I've already been down to the soup kitchen? 

I'm sorry, I'm uh, seeing squares...........  I am unable to paint your feet right now.

So this is the "Tinkerbell Garden" Piece, I've Heard So Much About...

"Keep pretending you're into it... women like this kind of thing"

are you going to buy it or what

-          Hum.. So this is that ‘’art’’ thingny my wife was talking about. So, how does it work?

-          You see, the more weird you make it, the more money you will make from people who love to have a prestigious living room.

"No I am dead serious, it smells like strawberry jam, just scratch right there and smell"

Yeah, can you believe they hung it up-side down at the last show?!!

To tell the truth, absolutely nothing - It has no meaning at all.  Just felt like smearing paint.

 and now the the finishing touch-my thumb print in blue-and that should do it

I admit he was a good looking guy, but who wouldn't be attractive with a **** that big?

wanna chat?....

"Well, this here is called 'Feathers'.... mostly because my drunk friend here ate the feather boa that keeps my head balanced with my shoulders. This is what his puke looked like."

Well, um, you see .... I was stoned ... and don't even remember painting it.

Hey man. Give me a break.

I didn't say I would do a lifelike painting  of you.

I see what is inside the person to capture the spirit despite what my drunk friend behind me says.

 

C'mon man it's art, can't you see?!

"you know, i never knew ..how pretty your eyes looked ...their just so deep, they are perfectly matched to my art".

Dude!  It's all in the stroke, man.