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Stretch my anus?

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Anonymous User

Posted by Anonymous
on May 4th, 2009 at 4:22 PM


How can I quickly stretch my anus? Drunkenly, I made a bet that I could insert an apple into my butt. I have 1 week before I have to prove it, or I stand to lose $1000.


Help! What's the quick way to prep? A google search seems to recommend some drug called "poppers", but I'm not too keen on drugs. I need recommendations.

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11 Comments (add your own)

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  1. Konrad - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by Konrad on May 4th, 2009 at 4:25 PM

    I heard not making retarded bets helps.

    Reply | 4dislike | Flag

  2. nacreousfrost - 22-25 years old

    Posted by nacreousfrost on May 4th, 2009 at 4:28 PM

    I've... never had to do it but... starting out with smaller width objects and working your way up might help? Along with a decent bit of KY? That's just a guess, though...

    Reply | 3dislike | Flag

  3. Run2Me - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by Run2Me on May 4th, 2009 at 4:32 PM

    Funny you ask. You could order a Anus Stretcher...no, it's not an ambulance that picks you up after you wipe out on your skateboard... I saw one in an adult toy store on Sunday night.

    Reply | 3dislike | Flag

  4. steeb - 46-50 years old

    Posted by steeb on May 4th, 2009 at 4:59 PM

    Put the apple in a blender, then use a turkey baster, and spend the $1,000.00 on a good therapist.

    Reply | 5dislike | Flag

  5. AscendedOne - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by AscendedOne on May 4th, 2009 at 5:21 PM

    I like Anywhere's suggestion haha

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  6. Fazer - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by Fazer on May 4th, 2009 at 5:26 PM

    Hey dude, next time you could bet $2000 for a coconut.

    Reply | 3dislike | Flag

  7. enragedkitten - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by enragedkitten on May 4th, 2009 at 5:35 PM

    First I'd look for the smallest apples. Crabapples are small...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malus

    Then you can get different size butt plugs and ****** and stretch. Dont forget to use lots of lube

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  8. Nejmeh - 18-21 years old

    Posted by Nejmeh on May 5th, 2009 at 4:20 AM

    Umm... You know, the $1,000 is cheaper than paying $4,000 to the ER afterwards in order to remove the apple ;)

    Reply | 4dislike | Flag

  9. y2000ad - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by y2000ad on September 21st, 2010 at 4:36 AM

    Ha..Ha.. After reading all the posts I couldn't help ROFL till my sides hurts. So sorry to hear your predicament man....

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  10. KPFB08 - 22-25 years old

    Posted by KPFB08 on October 26th, 2010 at 6:07 PM

    Its easy! I've done it numerous times. Use lube. It feels good too!!

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

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