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In Love With My Brother-in-Law

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Anonymous User

Posted by Anonymous
on May 10th, 2009 at 5:16 AM


I'm in love with you J. I think you love me too, but of course its not something I can be sure about unless one of us has the courage to come out and say it. You helped me through so many rough times, and you were there for me when no one else was. I asked you for help when my marriage to your brother was in trouble. I know you did everything you could to help us. You answered my calls and came over to talk to your brother...no questions asked. And you told me about your difficulties at home too. I want to be there for you J. I don't want you to leave your wife for me. Yes, I do think you should leave her, but not for me. You have sacrificed so much for your family and you deserve to be happy too. I love your kids and I know you love mine. You know that I tried every option to get your brother back on the right path. I never told you that he said he knew you and I could end up together because we made a good match. If my own husband and your own brother can see that we are good for each other, then it must be obvious to others as well. And if he said that to me, did he say it to you too? I know you caught me looking at you many times this weekend, because every time I looked at you, you were looking at me too. I love it when you look at me. When we were sitting in the hall, you rested your arm on my leg, just for a few seconds, but I knew it was intentional, and I loved that too. And you knew that I touched your shoulder for the same reason. Most days you are the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. And I imagine countless ways of letting you know that I want you in my life, not because your brother needs you, but because I need you. He's been gone now for 2 years, and we are doing a pretty good job of having an amicable seperation. I know you feel like you cant leave your wife because of her mental instability and because of the kids. But I wish there was some way to let you know that this can't be all there is for us. There's no point asking for a 'sign' from you that we should be something more to each other because I got all the signs this weekend. I hope you got mine too.xoxo

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  1. Me4MeU4U - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by Me4MeU4U on November 9th, 2011 at 9:59 AM

    I feel for your situation. I am in love with my brother in law too. It could be a wonderful thing or a very painful thing. Im working up the strength to leave my husband and I'm hoping that in time we might be able to take this mess we made together (and he has just ended) and make it a reality without ruining his family.

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  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 20th, 2014 at 2:17AM

  3. losttolove - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by losttolove on May 26th, 2013 at 8:29 PM

    I have always known my brother-in-law (husband's brother) had chemistry. I knew the moment I met him that we had met too late. I was with his brother and he already had a kid and soon-to-be wife. Now they're divorced and have two kids, my nephews that I love dearly. Today he asked me if he could do something...he asked me if he could kiss me. I didn't say no. He kissed me. I have never felt like this in my whole life. In that moment I was lost, nothing else mattered, it was earth-shattering reality of the love I have for him, yet, it left me broken at the same time. We both said there was no way anything more could happen because....well....I've got 4 kids with his BROTHER, my HUSBAND! This could ruin us both if any of it got out, I'm not sure it's so smart to go on here and respond, but I didn't know what else to do. I can't talk to anyone about it, I can't do anything. It was like I touched my soul-mate for a moment, if there is such a thing. My husband is an atheist, and when he told me that I got upset and started crying because we were married in a church and felt as if our marriage bond was broken at that point. But, I remain. I have to. How else would I see my brother-in-law, spend every holiday we can together and enjoy watching my nephews grow up? There is no possible way that anything could "work" between us. Let alone what having an "uncle-daddy" or "aunty-momma" would do to our kids! I can't imagine what that would do. I LOVE my brother-in-law, but realize I could never do more than what happened today, and that today can never happen again, and that I can never talk about it or post anywhere about it EVER again. I would rather love him forever at a distance than to break my family apart to try to be with him. It just wouldn't work. I know that. I love him for everything he is, a beautiful man to say the least, too bad his wife didn't think so and divorced him. He's got a girlfriend that just cheated on him, so I think he was looking for comfort from someone he loves and trusts. But when he kissed me, when he looked in my eyes and told me he loved me, it was everything I had ever looked for...and it was heart wrenching to leave, I wanted to stay forever. I wanted to hold him forever and look into his beautiful eyes forever. He gave me everything, I love him back, more than I could ever let him know, more than I can ever let anyone know. I know what it's like to live with a secret. I know what it's like to love your brother-in-law. I know, because I too, love my brother-in-law. I know that even though we never had sexual intercourse, I felt like I had made love to him. I never felt like that before. but this was so sensual, so passionate, so full of meaning behind it that I felt naked even though I was fully clothed. Wow. I am in love with my brother-in-law and he loves me back. It is better to leave it alone though, not see him for awhile if I can help it. We'll see.

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  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 20th, 2014 at 2:17AM

  5. losttolove - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by losttolove May 30th, 2013 at 7:38AM

    It doesn't help my situation that my husband and I have been talking about divorce for over 3 years now. We both agreed to it at one point but I neglected to go to the courthouse. Just today I had a conversation with him about how I didn't want to live in a lie anymore. That I feel like he never meets me half way, that I feel disrespected, that I don't feel appreciated, that I want sex but don't get it...the list goes on. I won't get into it too much. But if we're to actually get a divorce we've got to make steps toward that. We have to get finances separated, we've got to think about where the children are going to live, we've got to think about the court system and how that will treat us, exc. However, I don't want to live where I do anymore. I want to move to a different state and that could complicate things. I mean, if I have these feelings for my husband's brother, then who's to say that there isn't someone out there who WILL meet me half way on the issues I want and need addressed. Who knows. Anyway, my husband wants us to go to counseling before we rush into this Divorce thing. Great, more therapy. We've been there before. I don't know if it will help. Maybe. The last time I was in couple's counseling with him the therapist told us we'd be better off apart. Maybe it'll save our marriage. I don't know. What I do know is that I love my brother-in-law, that my feelings for him haven't changed, they won't change, he'll always hold a special place in my heart forever. I mostly want him to know that no matter what happens between his brother and me has nothing to do with him kissing me. That it had very little part in all of this. I have had worse affairs with others, I cannot continue to hurt his brother by having affairs and I cannot keep living a lie to protect others from being hurt. Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe therapy will save my relationship with my husband. Maybe it won't. Maybe I might not be your sister-in-law anymore. Maybe I won't be your brother's wife anymore. Even so, I know that we'd never work. I wanted to comfort you. I wanted you to know that there is someone who does love you out there in the world, I wanted to be the one to show you that you deserve more than a cheating girlfriend and a horrible ex wife. Now you know that I have been nothing but a horrible wife to your brother and have all the power. You could just tell him I went out to your house and came on to you and it'd be over. No counseling. No waiting. No hesitation. Just over. He'd leave while wrecking everything in his way. You are scared that it'd be the end of you?! No. You've got NOTHING left to lose. I've got everything to lose, but then again, maybe it was already lost.

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  6. lonelylover23 - 22-25 years old

    Posted by lonelylover23 on January 8th, 2014 at 2:51 PM

    i also feel how u feel me and my brother in law really touch each other not fisically but emotionally when im sad he tikkels me when i cry he comforts me when im down he makes me do my favourite thing in the entire world not even my husband knows what it is ..... he buys me presents we chat till late in the night and blow kisses but were scared about what it could do to the family ...... IM OVER THE MOON ABOUT HIM 2 <3  

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  7. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 20th, 2014 at 2:17AM

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