Post

I love my husbands cousin and he said he loves me too...

All Confessions

« Next Previous » Category: love Confessions

Anonymous User

Posted by Anonymous
on September 29th, 2009 at 6:57 AM


  I have  been in love with my husbands cousin since the second time I met him 16 years ago.  For a while I thought I just had a crush on him, but every time I heard there was a family get together and he was going to be there, I would get so excited.  I'd make sure I get a chance to talk to him and I found that it was easy to do.  We'd usually end up talking for a while or walking away from the crowd and chatting.  I loved my then boyfriend (my husband) and he was in a relationship too so I just thought it was a crush.  But the more  I saw him the more I wanted to be around him.  Just this year I admitted my feelings towards him and he apologized for things.  But also said, "You know how I feel about you. " and "I love you too."  I just don't know what to do.  I think about him all the time and am trying to make myself stay "in love" with my husband.  But I'm not.  I do love him, but not the way a wife should.  But of course the loyalty to the family and we do have kids that I do not want to ruin their lives.


  We have never acted on the feelings that we have for each other.  But boy do I want to.  It's all I can think about.  Now he's in a relationship, I am jealous but know I have  no right to keep him out of one.  I want him to be happy, even though I'm miserable right now.  We talk a lot about his new girl friend and he likes her, sounds happy so good for him.  He deserves it.  I encourage him and give him good advice about her when we speak, but my heart is breaking when I do.  Stupid huh?  I have the life I wanted and he is trying to find his.  So of course when he asks me if he should go out with her again, I tell him yes.  When he asks me if I think she sounds like a nice person I say yes, and I'm not lying.  She does.  I love having him as a friend, and of course I want more, but in the end, I know that won't happen because he loves his cousin and I do too...at least enough not to hurt him in that way.  I just don't know how to make my feelings go away for him (the cousin).  Help!  I want to stop thinking about what could be so much because it makes me grumpy and depressed around everyone...stupid huh. 



Vote up! 2

6 Comments (add your own)

Sort By  
  1. zebramart - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by zebramart on September 29th, 2009 at 8:59 AM

    Life is crazy huh? I for one say to hell with everything, go find your happiness. If your happiness is with this other man... so be it.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  2. nonchalance - 13-15 years old - female

    Posted by nonchalance on September 29th, 2009 at 10:30 AM

    Just follow your heart, because everything always comes out right in the end.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  3. Anonymus99 - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by Anonymus99 on September 30th, 2009 at 10:53 AM

    I UNDERSTAND YOU VERY WELL; I'M EXPERIENCING SOMETHING SIMILAR BUT THE WORD “LOVE” ISN’T THERE, BECAUSE IT'S JUST A STUPID BODY LANGUAGE RELATIONSHIP, SECRETLY STUPID, WE HAVEN'T SAY ANYTHING YET, BUT I'M TOO YOUNG AND I THINK I'M HAVING JUST A CRUSH.

    ANYWAY, WOW 16 YEARS, I WANT TO KILL MYSELF AND KILL HIM WITH ONLY 2 YEARS. I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I ADMIRE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN STRONG FOR A LONG TIME AND I KNOW IT’S IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL AND ALL YOUR THOUGHS BELONGS TO THE GUY AND SOMETIMES LOVE AND LOYALTY FOR THE FAMILY IS STRONGER THAN ANYTHING ELSE. AT FIRST IT’S A CRUSH BUT THEN IT BECOMES A WHIM AND THEN AN OBSESSION BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE HIM, AND MAYBE YOU PREFERE HIM ABOVE YOUR HUSBAND BECAUSE YOUR HUSBAND BELONGS TO YOU AND YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT WHEREVER AND WHENEVER YOU WANT WITH HIM, BUT NOT WITH THE COUSIN AND THAT’S THE PROBLEM AND THAT FEELING BECOME STRONGER AND IT KILLS YOU.

    I’M TELLING YOU WHAT I FEEL, I THINK THAT MAYBE YOU’RE NOT REALLY INLOVE WITH THE COUSIN, IT’S JUST THAT A WOMAN LIKES TO BE HEARD AND MAYBE HE DOES AND YOUR HUSBAND DOESN’T, SOMETIMES THE COUSIN SHARE WITH YOU WHAT THE HUSBAND DOESN’T, IT’S A COMMUNICATION PROBLEM THAT YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH. TRY TO SHARE WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND STOP TALKING TOO MUCH WITH THE COUSIN BECAUSE IT’S WORST, I KNOW IT HURTS BUT YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR BEST. YOU ARE EXPERIENCING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR, THERE ARE A LOT OF SITES ON INTERNET ABOUT THAT THEME. GOOD LUCK.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  4. autumnbrez - 22-25 years old

    Posted by autumnbrez on July 20th, 2010 at 6:31 PM

    I am in the same boat honey...i love my husband...but am not in love. and i am head over heels in love with his cousin...who says he has feelings for me as well. Neither of us has acted and he is trying to persue a new lady. But this whole thing is killing me. I want so bad to be with him...but I dont want to step in on his new relationship. I shouldnt be jealous because I am married, but I am. I am not going to stand in the way of his potential happiness. I want to tell my husband that I am done...because it is not fair for me to "string him along either".

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  5. helpless1234 - 31-35 years old

    Posted by helpless1234 on May 14th, 2012 at 3:43 PM

    WOW....so I guess I'm not the only one out there with a similar situation....so I'm in the same sitaution....my hubby is 7yrs older than me and the cuz is 4 yrs younger and I've known him for about 16 years as well cause that's how long I've known my husband but gonna be married for 9yrs, we have two kids together and the cuz well there's always been that "connection" always seem to gravitate towards each other and have the best time when we are all hanging out...well about 1 1/2yr ago we were just shooting the breeze over text (mind you he had just got hitched/shot gun wedding) just a month prior, and out of some strange convo we admitted our feelings.. I go back to that momemt over and over asking myself "why now and not earlier" and god what made me admit that and vise versa.because i'm so that type to say don't cheat etc. ...goes to show things happen when they are meant to happen.....to say the least because of our history of being good friends, things escalated so quickly....it's now almost a year and half later and we are sooooooooooo in deep, we both love each other and would def be each others mate if things weren't so dam compliated. and just like you we dont want to hurt anyone in the process, seems like a contradiction because we already crossed that line. we question why this, why us, why at this point in our lives and not before....my answer is maybe i had to meet my hubbby to meet him and know him like i do...i'm at that stage where i'm starting to feel jealous when I see him and her esp difficulty because we are in the same cirlce of friends, so i feel like i'm on a roller coaster...my one girlfriend whom i confided in also said just let it be and go be happy....but we fear the hurt and shame we will bring to the family......i wish i had a crystal ball! life is so unpredictable. I often feel guilty because i feel as if i had my life to live and should let him life his but i can't help myself and he clamis "this" has no interferrance in his realtionship which i don't belive and feel like he's just in denial himself. so your not alone.....any advice?

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  6. starcrosslove - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by starcrosslove Jun 11th, 2013 at 4:10PM

    I was just wondering what ever happened with you? I pretty much could have written your story except I've now seen it threw and knowing what I know now, I would have made the decision years ago. Especially because as careful as I was for FOUR years, my husband eventually found out and it was way worse that me telling him would have been. Or forget telling him... just leaving him and letting him get on with his life. I suffered for years and now I would give anything to get those years back with the guy I really love. Anyway, I know it's been a year, but I would love to know where you are now??

    Reply Delete

  7. helpless1234 - 31-35 years old

    Posted by helpless1234 on May 14th, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    WOW....so I guess I'm not the only one out there with a similar situation....so I'm in the same sitaution....my hubby is 7yrs older than me and the cuz is 4 yrs younger and I've known him for about 16 years as well cause that's how long I've known my husband but gonna be married for 9yrs, we have two kids together and the cuz well there's always been that "connection" always seem to gravitate towards each other and have the best time when we are all hanging out...well about 1 1/2yr ago we were just shooting the breeze over text (mind you he had just got hitched/shot gun wedding) just a month prior, and out of some strange convo we admitted our feelings.. I go back to that momemt over and over asking myself "why now and not earlier" and god what made me admit that and vise versa.because i'm so that type to say don't cheat etc. ...goes to show things happen when they are meant to happen.....to say the least because of our history of being good friends, things escalated so quickly....it's now almost a year and half later and we are sooooooooooo in deep, we both love each other and would def be each others mate if things weren't so dam compliated. and just like you we dont want to hurt anyone in the process, seems like a contradiction because we already crossed that line. we question why this, why us, why at this point in our lives and not before....my answer is maybe i had to meet my hubbby to meet him and know him like i do...i'm at that stage where i'm starting to feel jealous when I see him and her esp difficulty because we are in the same cirlce of friends, so i feel like i'm on a roller coaster...my one girlfriend whom i confided in also said just let it be and go be happy....but we fear the hurt and shame we will bring to the family......i wish i had a crystal ball! life is so unpredictable. I often feel guilty because i feel as if i had my life to live and should let him life his but i can't help myself and he clamis "this" has no interferrance in his realtionship which i don't belive and feel like he's just in denial himself. so your not alone.....any advice?

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

Experience Project is a community based on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind.

Add your Comment

Post

Post A New Confession