i am a very succesfull bu...

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kickme007 - 46-50 years old

Posted by kickme007
on March 7th, 2008 at 7:10 AM

i am a very succesfull buissnes man.i make good money but i have been addicted to crack for 13 years.i moved 1 hour away from my dealers 10 years ago to stop using now i dont use daily but once a week usally friday nights.i used to use 1 or 2 hundred a day now i use 4 or 5 hundred on a fridaymy problem is i am a funcational addict which i think is the worst kind because im killing myself and pulling the wool over everyones eyes not to mention the 25 grand i spend a year. i am 46 and have no money put away for retierment (any sugestions on how to quite)i do have a house a nice truck and lots of equipment but i am a big time loser in my own eyes. no one else sees this.i am living a big lie and i am ready to end it all

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190 Comments (add your own)

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  1. freezinginmn - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by freezinginmn on March 11th, 2008 at 2:15 PM

    Hey there, I was at one time my self what I call a crack head, I did it all the time till one day I thought that was to much so I would only do it on the weekends. I never missed work no one ever knew besides the people that I would do it with. I was very suprised to see the different people that did do it, they came from all different life styles! But one day I just said I can't do this any more, I just put it in my mind! I don't know how it worked because believe me it was fun I was on top of the world when I did it espically when I only did it on the weekends it was all I looked forward to. Just try for a week or two to put the money aside that you would normally spend on drugs and see how fast it adds up. Calculate how much it will be in another 13 years. You have to be very head strong though.

    Reply | 13dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 1:17PM

  3. pato1977 - 31-35 years old

    Posted by pato1977 on June 30th, 2008 at 6:48 AM

    The mere fact that you graduated from daily to weekly usage...sounds great to me.....challenge ur self gradually maybe ur next target should be fortnightly....then monthly........try it....I know it wont be easy...good luck mate!!!

    Reply | 8dislike | Flag

  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 1:17PM

  5. nixon - 31-35 years old

    Posted by nixon on July 13th, 2008 at 4:02 PM

    I speak from the flipside of crack use. I have never done any drugs my entire life, but my husband was addicted to crack for many years. He too was a functional addict, and the day he told me his problem is one I will never forget. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant. He seemed committed to quitting and it turned into a once every 3 months problem. It was like he could get to the 90 day goal which we were told was really important, but just couldn't get past. He has been my best friend for over 20 years. I realized he couldn't quit for me or anyone but himself. The night I realized it, he had taken our brand new car and left me alone with our new baby. I called the police and filed a missing persons, told them what he was driving and what he was doing and to throw him in jail if they caught him. He came home to finding his belongings on the porch and that he was not welcome. I can't say that what I did played a huge part in his getting clean, but he never did it again. I think when you get strong enough to admit your problem to those who you care about, you are on your way. It took him deciding he had to much to lose to stop, it wasn't easy but he did it on his own. You will figure out the right thing to do. Good luck to ya!

    Reply | 10dislike | Flag

  6. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 1:17PM

  7. blev0260 - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by blev0260 on July 25th, 2008 at 8:35 PM

    you don't know how to stop, if you really want to help your self, and your successful, PLEASE check into rehab. I think it's ashame your 46 and have NO RETIREMENT! I'm only 20 and My retirement is already been started. You have to think about your future, and not to mention the long term damage it has or will cause to your brain. Obviously you care about yourself enough to post this confession, I would recommend seeking professional help. Use the money you spend on the drug to pay for it. Another way to "not have the money" is to open an IRA, which will also help with your retirement, and have X amount of money taken out of your paycheck to be put into you IRA, which can't be touched. So that way you don't have that extra cash to go get your fix. hope i helped

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  8. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 1:17PM

  9. greatlady4u - 46-50 years old - female

    Reply by greatlady4u Aug 29th, 2012 at 11:07AM

    Darling, I think you are somewhat harsh in stipulating the retirement blurb........I still don't own a home......I work all the time.....I have never had help....I have had people all my life ripping me off ( my own family). I never stop trying......I am sooooo on my own. I do have the best daughter though......I spent thousands on her to be a great gymnast...........probably 35,ooo dollars on her as as single mum........never want a scrap from anyone...


  10. greatlady4u - 46-50 years old - female

    Reply by greatlady4u Aug 29th, 2012 at 11:10AM

    Most people in this world want the big time money man to sweep them of their feet....... most people are soooo judgemental it absolutely annoys me whole heartedly.......


  11. choklitgyrrl - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by choklitgyrrl on August 7th, 2008 at 12:26 PM

    not to sound like a ***** or anything, but how can you say ur 46 and have no idea how to quit smoking ur life away? i guess ur the only one in the world that hasn't heard of rehab? or is that ur excuse to keep smoking? i used to work in a treatment center and ur story doesnt faze me because u are old enuf to know what to do when ur in trouble, so stop the bullshit and take ur *** to a rehab before u die.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  12. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 1:17PM

  13. theree - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by theree Jan 1st, 2013 at 6:08PM

    Just for the record, you DO sound like a judgmental *******.


  14. choklitgyrrl - 41-45 years old - female

    Reply by choklitgyrrl Jan 7th, 2013 at 8:55AM

    Thank you.


  15. opalescentscales - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by opalescentscales on August 8th, 2008 at 4:30 AM

    By all means, someone should be told but I would go with a professional rather than telling your friend unless you know that the friend can help you get away from your addiction and that your friend won't completely abandon you or worse, tell other people about your problem. It's really not for them to say.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  16. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 1:17PM

  17. discoeterno - 31-35 years old

    Posted by discoeterno on August 9th, 2008 at 12:24 AM

    Wow, that's a tough one. Addiction can be hell to kick, but you can do it. This may seem ridiculous, but I recommend a book called Change Your Brain, Change Your Life. It's written by this neurologist who uses a special type of imaging to figure out why people are having problems with aggression, attention span, depression, addiction, etc. You should see some of the imaging done on people who are regular users of alcohol, marijuana, and the harder stuff. Chronic drug and/or alcohol abuse leads to serious changes in the brain that can really amount to terrible problems for you later. Reading this book may also shed some light on why you started using in the first place (if you don't already know). There are plenty of resources out there for you, so I hope you will find a way to make things more manageable and in your control. You don't want to have to work full-time at Wal-Mart when you're 65, do you? The book I mentioned to you has stories of drug users who saw the SPECT images of their brains and quit cold turkey - it scared the **** out of them. That may not happen for you, but it may remind you of the importance of having a healthy brain for the long-term. Best wishes with everything!

    Reply | 9dislike | Flag

  18. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 1:17PM

  19. Titi0z - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by Titi0z Dec 27th, 2012 at 10:20PM

    Thank you, I'm going to get this book for my husband.


  20. wambu - 31-35 years old

    Posted by wambu on August 9th, 2008 at 8:05 AM

    Hi, I am a new member fro some reason i have read your confession.I am a born again Christian and i am living proof that God can deliver you from addictions even instantly and give you the will to carry on.
    Just be ready to surrender to him and ask him into your heart. What do you have to lose for trying ? nothing!! He saves and changes lives. Refuse to be the devils play ground. Please stop condemning your self and don't let anyone do it to you, only God can and he will forgive you if you ask. There is a reason he has you alive otherwise you would be dead.


    Reply | 3dislike | Flag

  21. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 1:17PM

  22. sunshinebailey - 31-35 years old

    Posted by sunshinebailey on August 10th, 2008 at 3:07 AM

    i too am a funtional addict to me it wirks opposite but my drug of choice is meth and what i cant fiqure out is why are these drugs allowed to be made in the first place.
    you know that your are living in life but you are only and image people you think you have pulled the whole over there eyes probly never met you when you were clean, we may have controll to a certain extent but we spend money we could give to the poor hungry kids of family addicts who are stuck between the system. who are you really fooling? do u think that know ones really knows that you still play on the darkside ? be true to yourself get help if you want it u cant run away but find new hobbies to take this drug place in your life i too remained clean for 5 years and i thought i was cured then suddenly i was right back in it full swing ..... sad but now that im ready to stop there are no free programs left unless i break the law and i suffer and i cry and i want to be able to stop but how? sorry i guess im not much help im i dont knw

    Reply | 3dislike | Flag

  23. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 1:17PM

  24. Abriee - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by Abriee on August 12th, 2008 at 5:22 PM

    I can offer no advice, I can only say that I am sorry for your pain.

    Reply | 5dislike | Flag

  25. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 1:17PM

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