i am a very succesfull bu...

It's seems like you are reaching out for help and you want to stop. Do you have anyone that you can confide in that you trust? Do you live alone? If not. Make it a point to always be around family or friends when you are not at work. They obviously don't know your secret and you are ashamed of it so the odds that you would use the drug around them at the risk of being caught is slim. I hope this helps!! Be strong.

Um... rehab in another country.
I mean your spending big bucks to get high anyway,
just throw down 80k to rehab in the alps.

please donot do any more harm to yourself, get help now I LOVE YOU

Sometimes life doesn't go the way you want it too, but sounds like you are an intelligent man, who just got lost on the way - please see a professional in your area and tell them what you wrote here, perhaps you would be surprised to how things may even turn out for you. Every little steps... just a little... Let us know how you go ok.. will keep an eye out.. Good luck and please, you are NOT a bad person, just got lost..

Hey baby, don't be so down. I've been introduced to crack. I studied it. I was kind of in no position to ***** about it. Iknew from what I had heard about it that one hit will get you addicted well I dont follow rules well lol so I truly took it on as a study. I knew that if my boyfriend who had been addicted to everything could see me not fall for it he would have an easier time comming off it. I tried it
and this guy I called him a pusher to his face but he would come over a lot with free crack... my guy was really doing well except for this. so he saw that I really didn't care but heres what I learned about it by studying it with an open hippie mind..... cocaine is a lier theres that moment when you know that **** aint right and you hear your mama calling you to dinner....
you have to realize the answer is truly Jesus...
you don't have to go join the chior its not a magical thing to be dilivered like some excorcism..
all you have to do to leave it alone is resist the devil and he will flee... I had a craving for it and resisted prayed and walked into a room with 5 or 6 ******* smoking crack and I grabbed my pot box and said I'm going back to my Bible study ... I didnt even want it... and then the question ofhow can you be a Christian and smoke pot... because he gave it to us for our use ,,, thank God for pot... thats how I got my **** together I was one stupid lost rediculous puppy.... come just as you are be honest with yourself Others and God you'll be fine ....love me