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i am a very succesfull bu...

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kickme007 - 46-50 years old

Posted by kickme007
on March 7th, 2008 at 7:10 AM

i am a very succesfull buissnes man.i make good money but i have been addicted to crack for 13 years.i moved 1 hour away from my dealers 10 years ago to stop using now i dont use daily but once a week usally friday nights.i used to use 1 or 2 hundred a day now i use 4 or 5 hundred on a fridaymy problem is i am a funcational addict which i think is the worst kind because im killing myself and pulling the wool over everyones eyes not to mention the 25 grand i spend a year. i am 46 and have no money put away for retierment (any sugestions on how to quite)i do have a house a nice truck and lots of equipment but i am a big time loser in my own eyes. no one else sees this.i am living a big lie and i am ready to end it all

Vote up! 56

190 Comments (add your own)

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  1. silverstars - 16-17 years old - female

    Posted by silverstars on October 7th, 2008 at 10:51 PM

    I think you need to slowly get off of it. Find someone you really trust and tell them about your secret. Let them help you get over your addiction. I've never been addicted to any drug, but I think I kind of understand how you feel. Good luck on you journey to quitting. Don't forget to put all that money you would have spent on crack in a bank account for retirement. Once again, good luck.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 23rd, 2015 at 4:34AM

  3. indigowarrior - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by indigowarrior on October 10th, 2008 at 4:28 PM

    whos incontrol

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 23rd, 2015 at 4:34AM

  5. RubyTewes - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by RubyTewes on October 21st, 2008 at 12:55 PM

    There are no easy ways out when in the spot you are in. When I was there I found the local Narcotics Anonymous meetings and staerted going on a regular basis. All of a sudden I realized there are thousands of people doing what I'm doing and who want to stop. They found a way to feel good about themselves again. And the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop living the way you're living! WOW! They didin't force anything on me. I figured, if these addicts can live happy lives so can I. And it's ok to still be on drugs while attending meetings. And they're not a bunch of Bible-thumpers either. My own higher power I created is meaningful to me and that's all that matters. And the steps didin't kill me. I'm happier today and financially secure.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  6. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 23rd, 2015 at 4:34AM

  7. Warmthoughtsofyou04 - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by Warmthoughtsofyou04 on November 6th, 2008 at 10:11 PM

    Maybe you should organize an intervention for yourself. There's always tons of free help all over the place. Please get better.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  8. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 23rd, 2015 at 4:34AM

  9. mlf1070 - 66-70 years old - male

    Posted by mlf1070 on November 12th, 2008 at 10:45 AM

    By "ending it all" you mean suicide - don't. Stick around and see how your life turns out. My son once considered his life worthless and planned to end all his troubles. That was in 1998. Today he's alive and well. Read his story.
    My Journey to God in the blog archives at

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  10. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 23rd, 2015 at 4:34AM

  11. Ineedamore - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by Ineedamore on November 16th, 2008 at 6:45 AM

    I too am successful in life but hold a secret, i have been addicted to heroin for 13 years. Don't end it, get help. I have been suicidal and thought it my only way out of my addiction but it's not the only way out, i still use and i am currently seeking help as i've just found out i'm preggers. If you are only using once a week then thats preety good self control don't you think. My dealers got locked up when i was using once a week now i've found other, better dealers i'm using on a daily basis well i was till 2 days ago, now i'm on the methadone program and i hate it but i don't want to lose this baby. Life is so not easy, we all need to do something to get thru it and you chose your drug, i chose mine and people will judge us for that but the drugs aren't who we are they are just something we take to endure our pain. Forge on.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  12. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 23rd, 2015 at 4:34AM

  13. geenpunchbuggie - 31-35 years old

    Posted by geenpunchbuggie on November 18th, 2008 at 1:50 PM

    please don't hurt yourself. i completely know what you mean... doesn't it seem like nobody understands???

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  14. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 23rd, 2015 at 4:34AM

  15. Glissenz - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by Glissenz on November 23rd, 2008 at 9:53 PM

    Everyone is Addicted to Something, but Crack is probably taking your health. My daughters ex-bf's mother stroked out at a young age, her face droops and she still smokes it. It is just sad to me.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  16. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 23rd, 2015 at 4:34AM

  17. jazlyn - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by jazlyn on November 29th, 2008 at 3:18 AM

    Ok, I'm new here so please just listen.
    First off you have what many would only work their butts off to have. Second, you have identified a problem understand what is wrong with the picture. But are you actually willing to deal with why you use or even stop using. you remind me of the guy at the bar who only smokes when they drink. Which means if you really put your mind to it you can QUIT. But first be honest with yourself as to why your actually using. hope this helps

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  18. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 23rd, 2015 at 4:34AM

  19. WhatMattersCannotBeSeen - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by WhatMattersCannotBeSeen on November 30th, 2008 at 7:34 PM

    Please check out my story about what happened to my ex husband. Its long but its worth reading. Its under 'I was the spouse of a drug addict" under my name

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  20. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 23rd, 2015 at 4:34AM

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