My mother was a psych nurse. My Stepfather was a psychiatrist.He died in 1973 by his own hand. His last words to me were" If I die ...you'll be the cause of it." I was into the kung fu and had a barrell of rocks and sand in the basement which I poured gasoline into and set afire. when the flames died down I would punch the stuff in the barrell. The fumes went throughout the house so I guess that was the trigger.
I've felt for years I've lived beyond my time. there's no real meaning anymore, no more wants or desires.
There's no real connection with what has transpired. Life seems good practice for ghosting. It sucks if that's all there reallly is.For some folks I suppose their lives are a shadow. I don't know who I used to be anymore.He's the shadow And I'm merely watching. Such drivel forever falls out of my brain!