My 13 year old daughter i...

Comments (19):

1. 

   Posted by mzmagik2u on

   I read the other comments thoroughly, am I the only parent who realizes this is a child the mother is talking about?! What happened to parenting? This man is sick and needs to be prosecuted. You're the grandmother but, you will be raising this baby, your daughter can't even get welfare at her age without your income being brought into play. You do your God-given duty as a parent and you make the decisions. A 12 year old is not capable of making such a decision, if she was, she would've known it was wrong for a grown man to even be interested in her, let alone have sex with her. How would your daughter benefit from keeping this baby? Do the old "Pros & Cons" list. Realistically now, at her age, if she asked if she could date a 20 year old man, you would say no. So, whatis wrong with you telling her that she can't have a baby?! I do agree with praying and asking God to guide you but, God made you a parent. You need to figure out what type of parent you want to be. My daughter's 18, graduating in 4 weeks and just told me last night that she's 3 1/2 months and keeping it. She's supposed to start college in the Fall, it's been her goal since she was 7. I have to say she was a perfect child in every aspect of her life. Even though she's 18, I as a parent, tried to reason with her on life struggles with a baby at this age, I was 18 when I had her. Luckily my child's technically an adult and I'm confused about how to feel as of right now but, I will support her and stand by her decisions. An 18 year old is capable of making decisions, right or wrong but, at this age she's an adult legally, 12 year olds aren't. I will pray for you and your daughter. I agree with your decision 100%, remember, it's your right as a parent to tell your child no, especially when it concerns their well-being. By the way, statistically a child of that age can have medical complications, sometimes resulting in death and the babies can have the same problems, the babies in a situation like this, tend not to survive. Do the research, talk to a OBGYN, go to a library, Google it. Much love to you and your daughter, contact me if you like, I am always available and would like to share an experience I had at 13, I love my mom to this day for pushing me to terminiate my pregnancy. I'm not saying that is the proper thing to do but, at that time it was for all of us.

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2. 

   Posted by ScreamingInside on June 4th, 2008 at 4:57 AM

   I'm not going to talk about the statutory rape bit because that's a decision you have to weigh up for yourself or with professional advice. I will say that your daughter will probably resent you for the rest of her life if you force her to put her child up for adoption against her will. Imagine how this will affect her, her father dies of brain cancer, her child is taken away from her and all she is left with is a mother she resents. You'll have a teenage girl on self destruct on your hands and I can't see you two having a close and loving relationship after that. She will pull away from you and rebel and get herself into more trouble in the coming years. You're her mother, you should try to do your best by her and giving her a life of heartache and missing her baby is not what is best for her. Is there no way at all that you can figure out to keep the baby? If it's possible for a child to have their parents around they should and I think it would be extremely cruel to your daughter, she may only be 14 but she will have the same feelings any other mother has - this is the kind of decision you could regret for the rest of your life. I honestly think you and your daughter need to consult with a professional on this, it's a huge matter. I really hope you make the best decision for your daughter, you both face a difficult future of her father is dying, this baby could be a new lease of life for both of you and could bring you closer as mother and daughter. Good luck to you both x x x x

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3. 

   Posted by SaharaOdeil on June 4th, 2008 at 5:07 AM

   If you force her into putting the baby up for adoption your relationship will be ruined - it must be very very difficult for you but you've got tolet her make her own decisions and support her. Personally I agree with charging him with rape - to me that's what it sounds like, I actually have a friend who got pregnant at 12 by an older man so if you ever want to talk message me. xx

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4. 

   Posted by pupmia on June 4th, 2008 at 9:57 AM

   SAY YOUR PRAYERS AND LET GOD GUIDE YOU THRU THATS THE ONLY WAY BECAUSE YOU DONT WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO GO THRU LIFE WONDERING ABOUT HER BABY ALOT OF PEOPLE ARENT FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAVE CHILDREN BE BLESSED YOUR DAUGHTER HAS YOU TO DEPEND ON AND LOOK TO FOR HELP

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5. 

   Posted by doitagain on June 4th, 2008 at 11:05 AM

   I think you have it right. No one said making the right decision would be easy. Is her not resenting you more important than you giving your child and her child a better chance at life? I don't think so. Who knows maybe that resentment will get her to make something of herself . And send that boy to the pokey! ... You're already in a bad spot with a 14 yr old who got pregnant...give your grandchild a better chance with a mother who is prepared for a child, financially, and emotionally, and (most likely) with a supporting partner inplace...

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6. 

   Posted by LipstickandBruises on June 4th, 2008 at 11:18 AM

   Although I have never been in this situation I dont think you are doing the right thing. Yes your daughter is young and yes the father is quite a bit older than her and it should have never happend. If he and your daughter want to have this baby and be in its life then I think you could make it work. Could you honestly live your life knowing that you have a beautiful gift from God growing up without knowing its family? I have a very good friend who's sister got pregnant when she was 14 her mother made her have an abortion when she didnt want to...she was very sad and upset and it ruined their mother daughter relationship also. She also got pregnant again as quickly as she could because she wanted that baby and she has done great and her mother regrets making her get the abortion now, she loves her granddaughter and couldnt beleive she had her do that. Now I know you arent going to make her get an abortion but think about it. Your daughter is owning up to her mistakes and wants to keep her baby, and it's not your friends fault that her son got your daughter pregnant, he is 20 he has a mind of his own she cant control that, but I dont think you should have him thrown in jail either. You all need to sit down and talk it out and if everyone agrees on adoption than thats fine, but I work in a hospital and as soon as a minor is pregnant she is considered an adult and has control over her care and her childs.

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7. 

   Posted by TendereyesPrincess on June 4th, 2008 at 12:59 PM

   I was 12 and he was 21 and this experience did affect my life in a very negative way...I was a kid he was an adult, he knew what he was doing...as a friend said its sick sick sick and wrong and I am ashamed and embarrassed of it its not a pleasant memory to have to carry. I don't know how the relation between this guy and your daughter was but he should had known that is illegal. Please, don't give the child for adoption, are you sure you can take this decision? I hope you won't destroy your daughter's life and lose her love...good luck for both!!!!

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8. 

   Posted by TendereyesPrincess on June 4th, 2008 at 12:59 PM

   I was 12 and he was 21 and this experience did affect my life in a very negative way...I was a kid he was an adult, he knew what he was doing...as a friend said its sick sick sick and wrong and I am ashamed and embarrassed of it its not a pleasant memory to have to carry. I don't know how the relation between this guy and your daughter was but he should had known that is illegal. Please, don't give the child for adoption, are you sure you can take this decision? I hope you won't destroy your daughter's life and lose her love...good luck for both!!!!

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9. 

   Posted by moejoe on June 4th, 2008 at 1:43 PM

   Redundant, but I have to side with the others. I know she is a child, but she has to be allowed to make an adult decision on this one, for better or worse. It's her child, if she wants to keep it, I don't see how you can do anything other than support her and do the best you can for your grandchild.
   
   Regarding the man who did this to her. I'd want to kill him, and have no problem with you sending him to jail. Send a note to his roomate about what he does and speak to the judge to make sure he gets level 3 status upon parole. Hopefully other scum will learn to keep away from 13 year old girls where you live.

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10. 

    Posted by soilderman24 on September 4th, 2008 at 3:44 AM

    well i think either way your daugther is going to have a hard time with it keep it or not she not going to be happy and the funny think to do is have a shotgun wedding and make him take care off it

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